TRAUM
by lovesremnant
Summary: Naomi Rousseau had resigned herself to a life of almost-nomadic wandering. Unfortunately, she hadn't counted on running into a certain pack of Shape-shifters... JACOBxOC AU, Post-BD
1. chapter one!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter one.**_

_**

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**_

I leaned against the trunk of a grand tree, both relieved and suspicious at and of the calm of the morning, wary and intrigued by the heavy fog that surrounded the forest's clearing. _No one is there._ I told myself. _If someone was there I would hear them; I would smell them._ No one ever snuck up on me, no one ever got the chance. That was the beauty of supernaturally powerful senses. Still, I couldn't relax. _Hell, I don't think I've ever relaxed. Especially since Nata disappeared._ My expression became even more cold. I felt my silvery-gray eyes narrowing at that thought. _It was his fault. He probably left of his own accord, bored of my..._ What did I have? What was I? _I am responsible. I know the risks we take by not holing ourselves up deep within a mountain, by not hiding. Roaming around is not the smartest thing... but it's the only way we stay sane. He never gets that. He just doesn't get it! Him and his dreams of settling down... fuck. He's probably stuffed in some –_

I forced myself to stop. Those thoughts would solve nothing. Nata was gone. He'd been gone for a year. my brother was _gone._ _I_ had to get _that_ in my head or else I might end up suffering the same fate.

Closing my eyes, I threw my head back, looking up at the upper branches of the tree, wondering just how many creatures were sharing this space with me, too small for even my enhanced eyes to discern. These thoughts made it easy to think that you were bigger than you were, that I might mean something if I was thousands of times greater in size than those small organisms. Looking up at the sky, thinking of the void that lay beyond what was covered in gray clouds._ No... I'm not as big as I think I am, am I? None of us are._

_What does it even matter? Why try so hard? Why not just _let_ myself get eaten by vampires, those filthy bloodsuckers._ The reminder of those foul creatures made my lip curl up in a manner reminiscent of what I often did while in my other form. _That's just crazy talk, Naomi._

"That's just crazy talk..."

_Where am I, anyway? _Last I had checked I was somewhere in Oregon, but I had traveled quite a distance over the last few days. A nonsensical, random one, zig-zagging here, looping around there – my goal was to be untrackable.

Nata never learned to do that like I did.

I think that is what his fatal mistake was. He had been too rigid, unwilling to change patterns, convinced that the vamps would be too sure of our species' – or at least the parts of it we got from Father – demise. _"They probably don't look for us, Ree, they killed so many... they even killed Father! Why would they be looking for us? We are but two. And only halfway, so really, we're just one, little sister." _

To which I'd always reply with, "Better safe than sorry, not-so-big-brother." This normally would fuel a mock-fight, most often in wolf form.

I slumped down further on the ground, willing myself to forget.

* * *

"That'll be $4.76, Miss...?" The cashier asked with false brightness, the megawatt smile doing nothing to lighten her tired brown eyes. _Humans. Do they not realize their freedom? So long as they stay out of the way of a blood-sucker, they have things pretty damned good. Even if they age. And die. But I can still die, can't I? Nata can..._

"What's it to you?" I asked curtly, earning a tired sigh in reply as the cashier dropped her cheery façade. Scrounging up the change from my pocket, ignoring the disdainful glance of the person behind me, I handed the sufficient funds to the woman, who now looked as blank as I imagined that I, myself, looked.

"No respect..." The woman breathed as I walked away, words not meant for me to hear. Long ago I had learned not to show that I heard things I shouldn't, even knew when to play dumb and occasionally pretend not to hear things, even though I should have even if I were human. Made it more natural that way, didn't it? _Don't take it personally._

Never take it personally. Nothing in this life is personal. Life sucks and then you die. Immortality was just a ruse, a way to fool you into taking unnecessary risks and throwing it all away – and you'd have no one to blame but yourself. At least most humans knew not to take risks, a lot of humans knew life was fragile — not nearly enough did, but at least there were some. But among the supernatural ranks, no one cared about life, they were disenchanted with it, too unafraid of death to care. That was always the fatal mistake, thinking you were immune from death.

_No one can run from that. Except... maybe... with luck... me._ Shit, I hoped so. After how many years of caution, I was still around, wasn't I? I'd lost my parents and my brother in the process, but at least one of the Rousseaus had survived, right? Better than nothing. _Is it really?_ I didn't know.

"I don't care." I mumbled to myself, walking down a sidewalk. "I don't care." I repeated, ignoring the fact this was an attempt to convince myself. "I don't care." I said once again, in a quiet, sing-song voice. This garnered a look from someone sitting on the bench at a bus stop, but I ignored it and breezed by, my plastic shopping bag in hand. One thing about being on your own and only being able to secure an odd job here and there was that cars were out of the question, same with houses or apartments, even rentals were little more than a distant dream.

_Wait._

Someone had looked at me when I said that? I was walking _against_ the wind, not with it. Alarmed, I stopped, turning to look at the guy who was sitting at the bus stop. Inhaling deeply, I realized I hadn't even paid attention to the smells around me. _Stupid, stupid, stupid...! Shit!_ He smelled... _He smells like Nata! Not the same, no, nothing of that sort... but... it's so familiar._ Drawn to it, I walked back toward the bench, cautiously. _Why does he smell like...?_ "Shape-shifter?" The words stole away from my thoughts, stowed away into my throat and wrestled its way out onto my tongue and into the air against my will.

The guy's head snapped toward my so fast I was sure he'd have gotten whiplash. His dark brown eyes were wide, though I could almost hear him, _I imagined it... I imagined it... _

"Is that what you are?" Why did I ask that? _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Back-pedaling, I shook my head before he could answer. "Nevermind! Sorry! Bye." _I am the picture of eloquence._ Whirling around, loathe as I was to put my back to a stranger, I speed-walked away, silently willing him to just shrug and forget about it.

"Wait!" Against my instincts, I paused, slowly turning to look at him. "Did you just ask what I think you did?" I shrugged.

"Probably not, dude." I took a step back, to which he took a step forward, then another, and another, he was walking to me. _Run, run, run, now, dammit, just run!_ But I didn't. I, the one who had always been smart and kept my chin tucked down and my guard up, just stood there dumbly as he approached.

"You asked me if I was –"

"I didn't ask if _you_ were anything."

"Shape-shifter. You said shape-shifter. In a question-tone!" I could tell he was aiming for accusing, for suspicion, but the way he said that last part was surprisingly child-like, as though he was pleased that he knew I had said that. Or something. How was I supposed to know?

"Shape... shifter?" _Play dumb, play dumb... take my word for it, take my word for it..._

"Don't play dumb with me. I know what you said."

"I don't think you do, man, just drop it." I backed up a bit, the arm with the grocery bag held out in front of me a bit.

"What, you're gonna take me on with a plastic bag?"

"I'm creative." I warned seriously, though the guy evidently didn't think so, as he chuckled. I frowned. "What? I wasn't trying to be funny." I decided I didn't like this... this... shape-shifter? He hadn't affirmed it or denied it.

He glanced over his shoulder, as though worried an eavesdropper would be lurking. No one was near us, just the occasional car driving by. While he was preoccupied with that, I turned on my heel and starting stalking off. My heart all but stopped when I felt a hand grab my elbow, an unwelcome advance onto my person and a reminder of how Nata would always drag me around. Spinning back around, I launched myself forward, elbowing him square in the chest. "What the hell!" He coughed, releasing my arm and falling back a few steps, hunched forward a bit, having not expected the move. _Ha. Ha._

"_Don't touch me._" I spat icily, sure that whatever irate expression I had on my face wasn't pretty. Not that I cared. _I've never bothered preening myself._

"God _damn_! Was that really _necessary?_" The guy was trembling, quivering, and not in fear. I knew that sign well – he was about to shift. _Fuck!_ I thought, immediately regretting the defend. I was surprised that he hadn't shifted, he was obviously fighting it hard – we were in public, why wouldn't this stranger? At the same time, why would he?

"Shit. Sorry." I backed up a few steps, holding my hands up, palms-out, trying to look as least threatening as possible. _Fuck, fuck fuck!_

A few moments passed, him trying to calm down and me cursing up a storm in my head. We both probably stuck out as odd, or maybe not, given that there wasn't many people around. Finally, he took a deep breath and glared at me. I tilted my head a bit and averted my gaze, the movement reminiscent of being in wolf form, one of the gestures I'd often do when my brother out-muscled me in a wrestling match. _Forfeit! Forfeit!_ I'd yelp in our heads, ducking my head and not looking him in the eye. _Nata... Where are you?_

"The _fuck_ was that for?" He was shaking again.

"Why the fuck did _you _–" I broke off, looking away again, taking another step back. _Don't shift, dude, don't shift._ "Public place, man, not a good idea." The voice of reason, perhaps that would make him chill out.

"Not a good idea to attack me!" He snarled, stepping forward with me stepping back in reply.

"Of course not!" I eked out, loathe to take the submissive role, I wouldn't mind duking it out with this stranger, or at least trying to. If I couldn't beat Nata I probably couldn't beat this guy, if I were going to be honest with myself. Still, there was a part of me that was like spectators at a brawl, hollering _Fight! Fight! Fight!_ But we were in public, it would be flat-out stupid to shift forms here. Probably flat-out stupid to even think about doing such a thing at all. When he didn't say anything, I hazarded a glance at him, surprised to see the guy was almost apologetic. Almost. Not quite. "I'm gonna go." I turned around.

"Dammit, who the hell are you?" Then he was in front of me, so fast that even _my_ eyes struggled to track the movement. "And what do you know about shape-shifters?" He paused. I could tell that there were some gears clicking and ticking back behind those dark eyes for that moment. "You're one, aren't you?" _Lie, lie, lie,_ part of me ordered without hesitation. _And risk pissing him off?_

"...Kinda."_  
_

* * *

_author's shameless include:_  
This story is kind of... "based" off of the idea I had for Blue Moon, kind of a redo in a way. I'm not deleting Blue Moon just yet in case I want to revisit that particular idea once again.  
I like this story so far more than I do that one. :] I'm more confident about where I'm going.

Normally I prefer to have preludes and shit... but I can't be bothered this time around, so I'm forgoing it this time around. Peace out.

I redid the last part, mostly because I pulled a tard move there and forgot that, _durr, _shape-shifters get _pissed._ Haha, the last version had it where the guy didn't do anything when she practically attacked him. _Helloooo_ of course he'd want to rip her throat out. -rolls eyes- My bad, my bad. It kind of screws up the plan I had, but hey, obviously my plan sucked if it was so reliant on this. Thank you JaSJaZ82 for (inadvertently?) pointing out the flaw, hehe.

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.  
xoxo lovesremnant


	2. chapter two!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter two.**_

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**_

Thank you JaSJaZ82 for reviewing the last chapter!

you're the only reason why I am uploading this one! no reviews, no chapters, and all that ;)

NOTICE: I adjusted the end of the last chapter to be more realistic!

* * *

"What do you _mean,_ 'kinda?'" His voice was terribly shrill for a moment.

"I mean... I'm kind of one." He cleared his throat before responding.

"You're either one or you're not."

"That's sort of true, yeah –"

"_Sort of_ true?" This guy was totally different now, deameanor-wise, it seemed that almost-shifting had flipped some switch somewhere in his head.

"I'm half-shape-shifter, okay? Now let's drop it, I'll skip town, you go back to... whatever it is that you do... and we forget about this." I hoped there was the note of finality in my voice that I was aiming for. Alas, it was not meant to be.

"_Half_? What, you just turn into a... _half_ wolf?" I scrunched up my face a bit at that.

"No." I snapped, returning his glare now. "I turn into a full wolf, thank you very fucking much." _I turn into a gorgeous wolf, asshole. I bet I'm prettier than you._

"So you're a shape-shifter."

"Half. I'm _half_ shape-shifter."

"No, you're not. You're a shape-shifter, or you're human. There's no middle ground."

"In my case, yes. I'm _half_ shape-shifter."

"And half-human?" He asked skeptically.

"No." _What does it matter to you, asshole?_

"Half... va–"

"No!" I all-but barked. Mortified, I whirled around, but no one was around. A car was down the road a bit. "Don't you have a bus to catch?" _Maybe that'll get him to not care._

"No, I don't." _Then why was he at –_ "So what's your other half?"

"Other half? I don't believe in that shit." Intentionally, I misinterpreted what he was saying. For some strange reason unknown to me, he _winced._ He winced. "What? On the outs with your girl? Your boy?" I added. This had to be a record. _I've never spoken more than a few sentences to someone other than Nata... what the hell?_ Maybe it's a shape-shifter thing. _I'm just blabbering on because he's similar to me._ Kindred species or something. _Ha. Yeah, right._

"So, assuming you're correct, you're half... shape-shifter. And half _what else?_"

"Fine. I'm full shape-shifter." I lied, like I should have in the beginning.

"_You're lying._" There was something seriously messed up with his voice. It... was... heavy. No, it just had some serious weight, some serious _pull._ Without realizing it, I looked back at him. _Whoa._ I was almost dizzy for a moment, stumbling back a step, blinking stupidly.

"What. The. Fuck." I spat each word out, looking at the cement sidewalk beneath me, feeling rather... different?

"_Look at me._" What was with his _voice?_ But I looked at him, not hesitating for a split-second, even. I _had_ to obey. _What the fuck?_ He _smirked._ He smirked! "Ha." Then a thought must of crossed his mind, because his expression soured. The tan-skinned guy was glaring at me again.

"What was _that_?"

"An Alpha command." He said, not without a pregnant pause beforehand. I could feel my frown.

"A... A... A what?"

"Did I stutter? An Alpha Command." _Like I'm supposed to understand_ that. "I ordered you to do something, which you did."

"Wha-What?! You _ordered_ me?" _Pshaw, asshole._ "Yeah, right. I'm out of here, for real."

"_No you're not._" And I wasn't. I looked ahead, where I had been planning on going, and... _I can't do that. I _can't_ do that._ "See?"

"Undo it. Whatever you did, _undo it._"

"You can't do it back to me. It's done. You're..." He was back to glaring at me, like it was my fault.

"I'm what?" I was surprised I wasn't hoarse by this point, but somehow I was still able to talk as normally as I ever did. _My throat must heal, even from being tired from talking more than I ever have since Nata.._.

"You might be, you might not be. Let's test it."

"Test _what?_"

"Quit squawking!" It wasn't a "Command," I didn't feel compelled like I had previously. Still, I had dignity, I used to, I didn't respond. "Let's go."

When he went walking toward the tree line, I stayed put. He glanced back at me. I could tell it was a warning. _Don't make me actually _make_ you._ "Fine." Petulant as I probably sounded, I didn't care. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I ranted inwardly at myself, but I tried to ignore it. _Might as well go on my own free will? _What _free will?_

"What are you?" He asked, once we had walked a good distance into the forest.

"We've already established – I'm a shape-shifter." I had to interrupt myself at the look he gave me. _Damn._

"You said you were half. I'll find out anyway."

"And how exactly will you do that?" For some reason, I immediately regretted making that sound like a challenge.

"_Phase._" It was a "Command," I knew that, I _knew_ that. My head began to hurt, my stomach clenching. He was telling me to do something, commanding me to, but I didn't know _what._ Phase?! _That makes no sense!_

"What?" _"Phase?" What does he mean by _that?

"You know, turn into a wolf?"

_Couldn't you have said that the first time?!_ I didn't get a chance to really even start thinking that before I was already on all-fours, having burst from my clothes. _Dammmnnn it! My last pair of jeans! In tatters!_ I was too preoccupied mourning the loss of my pants to realize that... that wasn't the only thought in my head at that moment.

_Girls._ Three voices echoed at once, before surprise shot through me. It wasn't my surprise. _This is just like with Nata..._

_A girl?!_

_That's not Leah!_

_Why is there a girl voice?_

_Is there a girl here?_

_A girl?_

_Who are you?_

_Who's there?_

_Jake?!_

_I guess we've got another member. _That was the voice of the strange guy who... that fucker...

_That fucker? Looks like you've got a fangirl, Jake. _

_Shut it, Quil. _

_Why is there a girl here? Wait. The new member is a _girl_?_

_Yes._ I could see _me_ in someone's memories, I could see me walking by, see me snapping at him, see myself through someone else's eyes.

_What the fuck?_ That was me.

_I second that!_

_Third!_

_Fourth!_

_Fifth!_

_You already third'd it, moron._

_I was just maintaining the pattern... God, Quil. What's got you in such a foul mood?_

_Am I the only one _totallyfreaked out_ that there is _another_ girl? _In our heads?_ I mean, _really?

_You're not the only one._ I think that was Quil. _Of course that was Quil, that was _me.

_Gee, sorry._ I spoke, _er,_ thought.

_Are you just going to stand there?_ I realized I was, indeed, just standing there. _That's what I just said._

Blinking, I focused on my surroundings. It was hard to see through my own eyes when I realized I could also see through so many others. Hard to concentrate when other peoples' minds were also in my own.

_Welcome to my world._

_Hey, it's my world, too!_ I don't think I could have separated the voices now if I tried. They sounded the same.

_No, we don't sound the same, stupid._

_Guys, be nice. She's new!_

_Seth, you're such a pussy._

_I am not a pussy!_

_You are._ The other guys all thought this around the same time.

_New to the pack or not, she's not new to being a shape-shifter._ That reminded me of the first time I shifted forms, when I was 12.

_Twelve? Vamps must have been around? _

_Vampires. _Instinctive fear spread through me like ice.

_You're _scared_ of leeches?_ Every other voice was incredulous.

_You're... not?_

_Of course not!_

_Hell no!_

_I eat vampires for breakfast!_

_Leeches quiver in fear whenever they see _me!

None of this made any sense.

_Hey, you're white?_

_That's racist._

_Shut it, Quil._

_But it is!_

_It's not racist, she _is_ white. Why are you white?_

_I didn't pick my fur. _I rather liked my fur, it was nice and thick and silky.

_Girls._ They chorused.

_A girl who's afraid of leeches!_

_You guys say it like it's some terrible thing._

_Seriously, do something. You're being creepy._ I snapped back to reality, looking around again, looking at the reddish-colored wolf who was looking at me.

_You're creepy, asshole. With your 'Alpha Command' mumbo-jumbo-load-of-bullshit and calling it 'phasing' –_

_Phasing? That's what it's called!_

– _when it's just shifting forms –_

_That's such a tongue twister._

_Who the hell says 'Shifting forms?'_

I took off running, wondering if I got far enough away the voices would quit.

_The voices want you to kill someone!_

_Nope, won't work, we've tried. No matter how far you go, we'll be here!_

_What the fuck, Quil. 'The voices want you to kill someone?'_

_Well, she said it like some schizo!_

_Schizophrenia shouldn't be mistaken for multiple-personality-syndrome._

_What the fuck, Embry?_

_What the fuck, Seth?_

_What the fuck, Embry?_

_What the fuck, Seth?_

_What the fuck –_

_SHUT UP!_ I inwardly shrieked, causing everyone else to wince outwardly as well.

_What the fuck, new-girl? What's your name? _Against my will, they discerned it. _Naomi. What the fuck, Naomi?_

_What the fuck are you doing here, Naomi?_

_Yeah, what the fuck?_

_Why the fuck are we saying what the fuck?_

_What the fuck are you asking about it?_

_This is all a dream! I'm underneath a tree snoozing and this is just a wacky dream! Whatever sap the tree has is having a hallucinogenic affect! This is _not_ happening! This is not, this is not, this is not happening!_

_Oh, it's happening. What the fuck._

_What the fuck, it's happening, Naomi._

_Yeah, Naomi, what the fuck, this isn't a dream!_

_Where are you running to? Don't go over to the other pack's territory._

_Oooh, the other pack. What the fuck, why didn't you say –_

_Other pack? _I asked, continuing to zig-zag through the forest as I often did. I was well aware of the fact the one guy (Jacob, was it?) was following me. I tried to ignore it.

_That's me!_

_That's Jacob!_

_Yeah, that's Jacob! _The issue with so many people in such a link was that everything tended to get repeated over and over.

_I'm with the redundancy department of redundancy department._

_Me, too!_

_Me, three!_

I stopped.

_Why are you following me, man?_

_Ooh, why are you following me, man? _Someone mimicked in a high-pitched mind-voice.

_You're not even looking where you're going._

_Sure I am._

_No, you're not. _They all assured me. _Fuck you. All of you._

_Sorry, I'm not into orgies._

_But Claire's not even old enough, yet, surely you gotta pass the time somehow? _Quil's mind was torn between overwhelming _love_ and overwhelming _disgust. _As a consequence, we all were. Why love?

_What the _fuck_, Embry?!_

_No homo! _

_Too late, _ugh._ You nasty!_

I looked at the reddish wolf, baring my teeth. He bared his back, merely amused.

_I'm way bigger than you. I _own_ you._

_I think not. _I growled, channeling my confusion into anger. I wasn't _that_ angry, I couldn't be, the moon was still waxing, not even close to a full moon.

_What does the moon have to do with it?_

_Everything._

_We're not affected by the moon._

_I am._ I was.

_What?_ This came from them all. Even though I tried to focus on the ground, the rocks, the grass, it is too hard not to think about something – you can't help it.

_You're part... werewolf? Like... _real_ werewolf? Like what the mind-reading-leech was on about?_

_Mind-reading- _ I was interrupted.

_You're part werewolf?! That's awesome!_

_So you are actually only half shape-shifter? How does that work out?_

_Well, I don't know. My mom is a shape-shifter, like... like you guys. Shift any time, right? There are native peoples all over that have shape-shifters... it's just... secret._

_No shit._

_My dad was a Child of the Moon. _Why was I telling them this? I didn't get much of a choice. _He was at the mercy of Luna. _If I tried really hard, I could almost remember him.

I was supposed to be _angry._ _Not nostalgic or revealing my life story. _I launched myself at the other wolf, that Jacob, aiming for his jugular. Unfortunately, the issue with being linked telepathically is that he knew what was coming.

_You're going to _fight_ him?_

_Are you stupid?_

_You're bat-shit crazy, girl!_

One moment, I was inches from the other wolf's throat, the next, I was being slammed against the trunk of a tree – he had grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and flung me away without missing a beat. Pain ripped through me, starting at my shoulder then spreading down my spine and through my legs. It wasn't enough to make me think twice about rushing at him again. Again, though, I was outmatched. He pinned me down, holding me by _my_ throat, one of his paws digging into my stomach.

_Bitch gotta learn her place. Har har._

_Quil!_

_Seth, quit being a pussy._

_Shut up, Embry._

I growled at him, though when he growled it drowned my own voice out. I remained still, knowing he had the more advantageous position –

_Advantageous position?! That's putting it lightly!_

_He's got you by the balls!_

_She doesn't _have_ any, dumbass._

_It's an expression._

But _I_ could get _him _by the... I began kicking out here, there, everywhere, mostly aiming for _that _spot. And I _got it, _damn it. With a yowl, he leaped back. I found myself almost wincing at the pain that was shared through the connection of everyone's mind.

_Ohhhhhhhhhh! _

_Owwwwwww!_

_What the fuck, girl?_

_That's it!_ Someone left.

_Me too! Owww... This sucks, feeling _that! _Fuck._ They must have been shifting, phasing, back into human form.

I didn't even have time to leap to my feet, for Jacob was back, this time in a better stance as to have his underside out of reach. I didn't bother struggling, I knew by this point that it was over.

_Damn straight it is. _It was just him and me, now.

I went limp, tucking my tail between my legs and keeping my belly up (even though it already was, he had me pinned). I gave in.

He strutted away.

_I do not strut._

_You prance, then._

He pranced away.

_I do not prance._

_You do._

I rolled over and stood up on unsteady legs. For some reason, it felt like I had not just submitted in a foolhardy fight that I had initiated.

_I don't think I introduced myself. I'm Jacob Black._

_Naomi Rousseau. _

_Nice to meet you._

_Can't say the same. _He phased, chuckling once in his mind and then out loud. I yelped, whirling around when all of the sudden it was a naked guy in front of me and not a wolf. Covering my eyes with my paws, I sank to the ground, trying to get the image out of my head.

"Oh, please, I'll bet you enjoyed the view." I growled my reply. "Aren't you going to... oh, right. Clothes. Hang on." Gone in a flash, I was suddenly alone in the forest, but only for a moment. He came back, wearing a pair of cut-off shorts, with a canvas bag, a canvas bag that looked like it had been dug out of the dirt, given the dirt on his hands and woven into the fabric. He tossed it to me.

Reluctantly, I secured it in my mouth, before running to find somewhere private, phasing behind a tree and between some bushes.

Just as I was about to slip the shirt over my head, someone sniggered. Someone _male._

And, just like that, I was back in my wolf form, once again ready to go for someone's throat.

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_author's shameless include:_ I forgot to say, this story is set post-BD. Jacob did not imprint on Renesmee. The packs still did separate, instead Seth imprinted on Nessie, not Jacob.

This was fun to write. I'd imagine that with a mind-link, you wouldn't be able to stay on one subject long, you know? What with how the tiniest thing will remind you of this, then remind you of that, etc. etc. So that's why she doesn't really know all of their names, or was never able to pursue certain trains of thought, if you will. I hope it wasn't too confusing.

I hope you liked it :D

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore. xoxo lovesremnant


	3. chapter three!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter three.**_

_**

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**_

Thank you JaSJaZ82 for reviewing the last chapter yet again!

* * *

I could see _me_ through their eyes, _me,_ vulnerable and in the nude, unaware of their prying eyes. _I'm going to _kill_ you all._

_Whoa, whoa, it's okay, you don't need to do that, ehe, it was just for fun. We'd see ya anyway. Your fault for not – _I snarled, racing toward where the three males were, all of them sure that I'd accept what Quil had said. Well, I wouldn't.

_I didn't watch you!_ One of them, one that could be described as sandy in color, slunk down to the ground.

_Right._

_You sure are arrogant. It wasn't much of a view! _But his thoughts proved otherwise. I growled at the spotted gray wolf.

_I guess I'll kill you first. _The next moment, him and I, apparently this was Embry, were just a tangle of limbs, hair, and fangs. He was stronger and larger, but I was faster and more agile. So while his bites packed more punch, I could whip out of the way before he got the chance to sink his teeth into me.

_Just make him sound like a leech, eh? _Quil was a quarter-tempted to run, a quarter-tempted to join in our fight, and half-tempted to just stand and watch. He stood and watched.

_I thought our colors were supposed to represent us! She's _white_! She's supposed to be _pure!Seth was confused at my misleading coat.

_Why? So you two can have chaste love and romance and buy each other promise rings? _Quil was bursting into wolfish guffaws, though they sounded more like sharp coughs than laughter.

_Shut up. _Both Seth and I thought with irritation.

This distracted me, Embry managed to get a good bite into my shoulder. Enraged, I tried to rip away, but it only made his teeth go in further, rip more flesh. Finally, he let go, under some mistaken delusion that this meant he had won and it was over. I launched myself at him, but something, no, some_one_ leaped inbetween us.

_Stop it, guys!_ Seth was trying to stop us, but I hadn't realized he was going to put himself between us. My jaws closed in on his neck, though the thick fur there protected him for the most part.

At the exact moment that I bit Seth, another presence showed up in everyone's head.

_Life fucking sucks._

_Leah!!_ Seth was frantic, trying to get out of my grip. Hey, I had him, why pass up on the opportunity to get revenge, right? Peeper that he is. _I'm not a peeper! I wasn't involved! I swear! LEAH!_

_What, Seth? _I realized the voice was feminine. Good, they weren't all guys here. _SETH?! _Annoyance turned to alarm at the drop of a dime. _Seth what – _her thoughts became even more murderous than mine, and they were directed at _me._

_Do you swear you will not ever look at me when I'm shifting forms? _I asked Seth, who desperately promised that he wouldn't ever even look at me when I was _clothed_.

_Dude, what is up her and this whole shifting forms bullshit?_

_I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE, BITCH! LET GO OF MY BROTHER! I AM GOING TO_ KILL YOU_, I AM GOING TO _SKIN YOU ALIVE_ AND SOAK THE EARTH WITH YOUR _GUTS_ AND HANG YOUR FUR ON MY_ DOOR_ FOR THE REST OF MY MISERABLE LIFE! _These thoughts continued, but they were so rapid and so intense that I wouldn't dare quote further. Dumbstruck, I still held Seth in my teeth, who wasn't even trying to struggle free. We were both frozen, both tuned completely into this girl's thoughts. I think we both forgot that I had his neck in my jaws.

_Seth, you're such a pussy. _Embry mocked.

_I am not!_

Not even a second later, _I_ was flat on my back –

_BITCH!_

– gasping for breath –

_WHORE!_

– not knowing what the fuck was going on –

– _I AM –_

– I struggled in vain –

– _GOING TO –_

– to get free.

– _KILL YOU –_

– If I could just –

– _RIGHT NOW –_

– get this leg a bit loose –

– _DIE!_

_**Enough.**_ Both of us stopped, her standing over me, having just been tearing at my throat and clawing at my belly, me struggling and totally shocked at the sudden change of events. _Get off of her, Leah. Stop fighting, Naomi._

Grudgingly, Leah obeyed. Her glare was relentless, I averted my gaze. _Damn. _I didn't even get up, I just stayed sprawled out on the ground, hoping that a hole would open up and suck me up into it. _How did I get here?_

_I kicked your ass, bitch. _She snapped with a growl. _I'm still going to kill you._

_No, Leah, you're _**not**. Jacob ordered. Leah was most unhappy with this ruling, immediately imagining all the different ways she could end my life right there, even if she couldn't act on them. I shuddered inwardly, which only fueled her thoughts.

_Ugh. _I got agreement from most everyone else, except for her, of course.

_Hi, Jake!_ Seth thought cheerily, beyond relief that Jacob had come and ordered us to stop. I immediately felt guilty at how... happy... he was that no one was fighting at that moment. _Just in time!_

_That was a real _bitch fight! _Hahahaha! _Quil was beside himself with laughter and Embry wasn't much different.

_As you can see, Leah-dear, you're not the only girly-wolf!_ Embry exclaimed-thought. A twinge of pain followed the term 'girly-wolf.' That was swiftly channeled into anger by Leah.

_Fuck off, Embry. _Then she seemed to realize what he had said. _Holy shit! You're a girl!_

_I'm not a girl! _Embry denied, which was mostly ignored by everyone else.

_I dunno, I've always wondered..._

_Shut the fuck up, Quil!_

_You only were calling me 'Bitch,' 'Whore,' things like – _I was cut off.

_Oh, she calls everyone things like that!_ Quil offered.

_Her name's Naomi. _Embry offered. _She's almost as bitchy as you!_

_Must be a common things among, hehe, bitches. _Quil replied.

_Shut up. _Both Leah and I snapped, before she turned and glared at me. Reflexively, I looked away, much to her amusement.

_Are you going to lay there all day? _Quil asked, quirking a brow as he trotted over toward me, caution evident in his stride. I leaped up to my feet, fixing a glare at him. _I didn't even _do_ anything! _He whined, taking a wary step back. Suddenly, I wasn't angry with him anymore. He had backed down, he wasn't a threat. I turned to Embry, who shook his head quickly.

_No trouble here, Bitch-number-two._ I didn't look at Leah or Seth, it was evident that I was beneath Leah in status and above Seth for sure. Leah's fantasy of killing me only became more gruesome in some kind of twisted agreement.

_So who's on patrol-duty tonight?_

_I did it last night!_ Embry responded, vehemently opposed to the slightest possibility that he would have to do it tonight. _So that means I can't do it tonight, right?_

_Thanks for volunteering! _Jacob said, much to the irritation of Embry and the relief of others.

_Have fun, suckah! _Embry glowered at Quil for the words, then at Leah for being so amused by them.

_This is bullshit._

_THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAA! _We all winced at Quil's mind-shout.

_Dude, that's so old._

_It's a classic, Em, it's a classic._

_Classic is still old._

_That shit's timeless._

_I don't think so._

_Shut up, Seth. Pussy._

_I'm not a pussy!_

_You guys are a bad influence on him. Cut it out._ Leah warned, to Seth's dismay.

_I can handle it!_

_Yeah, he's a big kid now! _Embry mocked.

_So we've got another chick in the pack, now. _While Leah aimed for a bored, I-could-care-less tone, there was something else there. Surprise? Was there... hope? _Not on your life, bitch._

_On yours, then? _The grey female snarled in reply.

_She's half-shape-shifter._

_Half? What? Like freakish vamp spawn?_ Seth's stomach hurt at her tone, but he immediately thought of... some girl? An extremely young one at that. Why would a teenage boy be thinking so... intensely... about a child?

_I'm not thinking like _that,_ jeez._

_It's like Quil and Claire. _Embry offered by way of explanation. At my confusion, Quil was happy to supplement it by thinking about, what else, a toddler.

_What the fuck? _Suddenly _I_ felt like I loved a little kid. _What the fuck?! _These thoughts were mirrored by everyone else.

_I LIKE STEAK! _Seth thought-yelled desperately. That was all it took for all the guys to be thinking about food.

_Food and sex. All they care about._ Leah spat, sitting down, looking bored.

_I like food and sex. Preferably at the same time._

_I like to eat and then go bang –_

_I bet you haven't even banged anyone, dumbass, not with your imprint –_

– _Sure I have! _We were assaulted by memories that I never, ever want to remember again.

_No. Fucking. Kidding._

_That's... ugh. I'm out of here. _The chocolate-brown wolf took off, no doubt looking for a place to shift forms.

_Phase! _Five voices echoed.

_Fine. He's probably looking for a place to _phase._ Big deal._

_It is a big deal._

_It's about being correct._

_We phase, not shift._

_Then why are you called shape-shifters?_

_That's just the official name._

_I prefer werewolves._

_You're not true werewolves._

_Maybe we are!_

_Yeah, maybe _you're_ the rip-off._

_Really? 'Cause most legends would say that werewolves are dependent on the moon, eh?_

_Eh?_

_Did you come down from Canada, eh?_

_Eh?_

_I don't come from anywhere. _I just meandered around.

_You just... 'meander?'_

_More or less, yeah._

_Why?_

_Vampires. _My stomach hurt just thinking that. _Why else?_

_You hide from vampires? Are you kidding me?_

_You need to get over your fear of those things._

_You're scared of leeches? _Leah asked with mock-incredulity. _Why am I not surprised... Weak little thing that you are._

_You guys actually look like you're about the same size... She's just skinnier._

_Ha. Leah's fat!_

_I am _not_ fat! She probably just doesn't eat._

_I eat._

_Eat what?_

_Uh... rabbits? Deer?_

_You eat _deer?_ Rabbits? _

_You ate Bambi?_

_And thumper?!_

_I'm a motherfucking werewolf. What else would I eat?_

_You're a... mother-fu-_

_Not literally, dumbass._

_Bitches are awfully bitchy._

_That's probably why they call them bitches._

_Or is that why they have the word 'bitchy?'_

_What came first: the chicken or the egg? _Apparently, Quil and Embry were in philosopher mode.

_We're just that deep._

_I prefer Philosoraptor. _After that last thought, Quil found a stash of clothes and, just like that, was out of our minds. It was a relief, losing a voice, but at the same time, not.

_Awwww, missing him? Shame he's imprinted, huh? No true love for you two._

_Not even close. Imprinted? _The word made Leah wince, so she let out a stream of profanity in response.

_It's where you love, love, loooove them forever and ever!_

_All you can think about is them!_

_Seth would know, ask him!_

_Imprinting _sucks. Leah was torn between hurt and pain. So, we all were torn between these two feelings as well. I could see flashes of a guy, someone considered both wonderful and hated at the same time, a girl, with a... scar? Her face was torn up on one side.

_Leah, that's sooo not necessary. Jake, just Command her to stop, puh-leeze? _Jacob refused Embry's request. Despite the heartache, I tried to make sense of Leah's thoughts. _Good luck, Naomi, ha, she's too complicated. Everyone stopped trying to figure her out a loong time ago. _His dry, empty humor was cut off when Leah snarled at him.

_Who's the guy?_

_What's it to you? _His name was _Sam._ The girl's name was _Emily. _Emily was his _imprint. Sam, Emily, Imprint. Sam, Imprint, Emily. Imprint, Emily, Sam. Emily, Imprint, Sam. Emily, Sam, Imprint. _It was a ceaseless mantra. No matter what order the words were in, they cut _deep_._ I _had pried too deep, gone too far into whatever it was that Leah was feeling. It was dizzying; I stumbled for a moment.

Leah shifted, no, _phased_, running away, disappearing, and there was relief. Hollow relief, but relief. Seth followed suit, aiming to track her down, but willing to give her space. He was worried about her.

Damn, I was still trying to even out my breath. _Damn._

_No kidding. _

We were all silent for a bit, trying to get back on steady ground. I wasn't sure if I should regret pissing off that girl, she, apparently, had some shit on her plate – but everyone's got their shit, right? Why mope? Sometimes you just gotta move on. Hypocritical of a thought as that may have been. I noticed that the light was dimming rapidly, the shadows cast by the trees only accelerating the oncoming night. I could taste the moon on my tongue.

_Taste the moon, what the fuck?_

_You can't feel it? _I _loved_ the moon. Luna's light was the closest to heaven I'd ever known. The full moon was days away, I could barely wait. Her pull was not nearly strong enough, the approaching night almost hurt knowing that the moon was not fully showing her beautiful face.

_You're fucked up._

_Hey, you're just jealous that you are not a moon's Child._

_But aren't you only half –_

_She accepts me._

_The moon is just a... rock. _I feigned dismay.

_How could you say such a thing?_

_Now you're just messing around._

_I do feel a strong connection to the moon. Not as strong as my father or those like him, but strong enough._

_Do you have to phase when there's a full moon? _I did.

_I don't lose complete control._

_Complete control? _Jacob was instantly suspicious, wondering if I was a threat or a liability.

_I won't go on a rabid killing spree, _there was a collective wince from the both of them at the idea, _if that's what you're wondering._

_You better not. _They thought themselves as some kind of guardian-type group, they... they _protected_ their home, which was _La Push._

_We protect them from the Cold Ones._

_The leeches. _Disgust.

_You... fight them? Vampires, I mean._

_Of course._

_Absolutely._

_You don't –_

– _flee? Of course not! _They were repulsed at the idea of running from vampires, still miffed at how I had done it for my entire life.

_They are so strong, though! And are of so many!_

_We can take 'em. _The idea of _fighting _vampires made me want to hurl. _You're such a wuss, for all your willingness to fight. Of course, you're willing to fight _us_, those on the same side, but a vampire? Oh, hell no! I'm gonna run now, byee! _Embry mocked in a high-pitched voice.

_How can you be so confident?_

_We're stronger and faster._

_But there's only so many of you. Only so many of us._

_It doesn't matter. We're still better. _I looked at the spotted wolf as though he had grown a third eye.

_Overconfidence is what gets you _killed_, you idiot! _I was stunned. _That's what happened to Nata..._

_Nata?! What, was that your boyfriend? _I was immensely nauseated at that idea.

_Oh my god. That's disgusting. That's... ugh._

_He's your brother?_

_Yes. Or... he was. _It hurt to think that. _It doesn't matter. Let's drop it._

_So he's why you're afraid of leeches._

_No. They wiped out the majority of my father's _species._ What am I supposed to be, dickhead?_

_I don't know... shouldn't you be out for revenge?_

_And end up dead? I don't think so. I'm looking to _survive. _I'm not looking to die. Not like Nata._

_What kind of name is Nata? _

I snarled at Embry in reply, stalking toward him a bit.

Natanael _is a perfectly good name. If Nata were here he would kick your ass. _I'd never want Nata to know I was championing him out like this, as far as he knew I thought him weak and stupid. Still, he was massive both in human and wolf form. Perhaps even larger than Jacob, who towered over everyone else.

_I call BS. _Embry was unfazed at the idea. I remembered what Nata looked like, how large he was relative to me.

_Your memories are biased. You are a small wolf –_

– _I resent that!_

– _and of course he's going to look gigantic._

_He had more of Father's genes, he was more Child of the Moon than shape-shifter. Children of the Moon are enormous, far larger than you could even hope to be. _

_I doubt that._

_Well, hopefully there may be one or two more here on this continent. Someday I hope you will run into one and find you are actually a shrimp of a wolf._

_A shrimp of a wolf?! Coming from you?_

_Wolves are sexually dimorphic, dumbass. _I should have known better to think of the word 'sexual,' for these were teenage boys, what else would their thoughts stray to? _Ugh! You guys are so... ewwwww! Sexually – _more perverse thoughts here – _dimorphic just means males are different from females, duh. We're smaller. We're faster._

_I wonder if you're as fast as Leah._

_I bet I'm faster. _I was pretty fast.

_Leah is really, really fast. Probably faster than Jake._

_Yeah, right._

_You guys have raced._

_I let her win._

_I doubt that, Jake._

_What does it matter who is faster? _I didn't really care. Though... now I was curious to see if I was, indeed, faster than Leah or not. I didn't know if I wanted to race her, though, she would just have to look at me a certain way and I'd probably run away from her in fear.

_Ha! See? It does matter! _Embry was feeling smug that I was intimidated by Leah.

_Aren't you?_

_Dude, we all are._

_I'm not a dude._

_You're a girly wolf, like Leah, you're probably very manly._

_Least I've got boobs. And I'm not manly!_

_As if I envy _those._ You're flat as a board._

_I bet you do. _I aimed for a sing-song mind-voice. _And that's bullshit, you know it._

_What the fuck? And hey, I don't –_

_It's getting late. Where are you staying? _Jacob asked, tiring of the mental ping-pong.

_I like pong. _Embry was thinking of the computer game.

_I... I can hole up somewhere in this forest? If I'm not trespassing, that is. _I hadn't put much thought in it.

_You don't... have a house? A hotel room? _They were both surprised.

_I don't stay in one place long. _I could never risk being found by a vampire. _And hotel rooms cost money, of which I don't have any at the moment._

_You're running from vamps? _Neither of them could get over the fact I was afraid.

_Either that or risk dying, man. I like being alive, thanks._

_Just... kill any that mess with you?_

_I... I'm not... I'm not that strong. _I snapped, irritated at the unwelcome reminder. My thoughts strayed into forbidden territory, to memories I'd rather forget.

_What's... going on there?_

_Nothing. _I tried to think about something else, _anything _else.

Although he was immensely curious, Jacob tossed me a lifeline. _You could probably crash at one of our houses... _He didn't even seem sure of the idea, I hadn't earned their trust. I understood that, didn't mind it, I didn't trust them either quite yet. It was too sudden for that.

_No... I'm used to the outdoors... that's what I know, I like it out here. _I couldn't imagine sleeping in... in... a box.

_Houses aren't boxes._

_They are close enough. They are little more than glorified cages._

_Gone native, eh, Canadian?_

_I'm not Canadian. Although... that is where I was planning on going. Then up further to Alaska, then probably across to Russia... maybe. I haven't figured it out, yet._

_Oh, you wouldn't want to go to Alaska. _Something about a _Denali Coven _flickered through his mind.

_Coven?! Vampire coven?!_

_**You are not going up to Canada, to Alaska, or Russia, or anywhere else. **__For better or for worse –_

– _ha! What, you two getting hitched or –_

– _you are part of this pack. _I half-whined, half-growled, at this.

_But why? _I was starting to hate that thoughts were instantly transmitted. Things I'd never say aloud were being broadcast and it was starting to piss me off.

_But whyyyy? _Embry mocked, again, in a high-pitched voice.

_Shut up, Embry! _I snarled.

_Because I said so. And because it can't be undone._

_Actually... _

I'm_ the true Alpha._

_..Couldn't she join Sam's pack? _Jacob was immensely displeased with this suggestion. _It wasn't a suggestion! You shouldn't join that pack, they wanted to kill a baby!_

_What...?_

_Yeah, the halfling. _I saw flashes of a young girl, the same one Seth had been thinking of. _She's Seth's imprint. She's half-vampire – _my stomach knotted up – _half-human._

_How is that even possible?_

_I have no idea._

_Who the hell knows. It happened._

_But... regardless. It was wrong. She may have been half-vampire, but she's half-human._

_But she's half-vampire._

_Maybe you _would_ fit in with –_

– _**no.**__You would not._

_Ooookay. _As piqued as my interest was, I was starting to get quite tired. It'd been a long trip. _So it'd be okay if I just snooze under a tree?_

_If that's really what you... like. _It was evident that Jacob didn't get why I would choose that over a couch.

_You'd rather have a stranger in your home?_

_Well, not _my_ home –_

– _or one of your packmember's? _I had him there. _I'm cool under a tree. I won't disturb anything. I promise, dude._

_Fine. Phase and be in human form, so that you don't distract Embry on his patrol._

_Gee, just leave me all alone._

_Embry._

_Fine, fine._

I loped over to where those clothes were and phased. I was starting to learn to use that word instead, weird as it sounded. It was all so surreal.

_What is going on, Naomi, really?

* * *

_

_author's shameless include:_ I've never had this much fun writing a story. o_O

I know it's weird how they all just started fighting, but the introduction of another wolf to the pack affects the pecking order. Naomi's pissiness was enough to set that into motion. The fighting was a natural response to try and establish who was dominant and who was not. Obviously, Leah has more weight in the pack than Naomi does! (Hence why she is Beta, she's just a dominant type of personality to me.) Quoth Quil in this story: That was a real bitch fight!

The fighting is also a bit of a result of the fact that Naomi's pretty unstable. Let's see how things go, shall we?

I hope you liked it :D

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

please let me know of any errors or inconsistencies, I'm only human and I'd appreciate any crits!

xoxo lovesremnant


	4. chapter four!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter four.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Thank you ":D" and xXxBeyondxBirthdayxXx for reviewing chapter three!

* * *

"Wakey, wakey, Bitch. _What the fuck?!_"

I woke up in a most uncomfortable position, my ears ringing as though there had been a loud noise of some kind. Blinking groggily, I was dimly aware of the feeling of my shoulder feeling... crushed? Something was _on_ me, _crushing_ me. With a surprised growl, I tried to rise to my feet, but couldn't.

"What'd you do that for?" Someone asked.

"What'd I do _what_ for?" I asked, or tried to ask. It came out as a garbled growl, at which I realized I was in wolf form. The smell of _tree_ was overwhelming, it was everywhere. _Well, duh, I'm in a forest._

Then I realized I was _underneath_ a tree, hence why it was such a strong smell. _What the...? _I struggled a bit more, but I just couldn't get free of the massive object that had pinned me into the dirt. _Fuck, fuck, fuck! _I wasn't strong enough!

A strange feeling overcame me, a feeling of raw _power_ that I just couldn't place. My muscles flexed of their own accord; I felt myself pushing up, up, up. A burst of energy washed through me, then I pulled myself out from underneath the enormous tree. The warmth left, chilling me to my bones. Shakily, I just laid there, blinking.

_Why did you do that? _Leah asked, torn between _wtf _and _haha. _

_Do _what?

_All I did was tell you to wake up and you... you... _she burst into wolfish laughter, sounding like a bark-cough. _You just leaped up and ran into the tree! You knocked the damned thing over, but kept _going_! And, and... ahaha. You ended up running underneath it! Goddamn you're stupid!_

I didn't remember any of it; I must have been half-asleep. _Yeah, well, I wasn't even awake. I can't be blamed for what asleep-Naomi did._

_Asleep-Naomi?_

_As opposed to...? _I immediately regretted thinking _that._

_Oh, all the possibilities! Bitch, whore, cunt, sl–_

_I get the picture. Thanks. _Leah obviously didn't think so, still continuing in finding as many derogatory terms as she could remember. _Why did you wake me up, anyway? _How did she manage to surprise me? I could remember mornings where I had awoken because a freaking _butterfly_ was fluttering around.

_I guess I'm quieter than butterflies. Not my fault you're unobservant. Bitch. _She added, as though such words were obligatory. _Sure they are. _

_So, you decided to go in the forest, find me, and wake me up?_

_Don't be flattered, stupid, I was minding my own business and went for a run, like I always do. I just happened upon where you were sleeping away, curled up in a ball like the wimp that you are. _Embarrassment flickered within me when she went over those memories, so she just kept replaying it over and over again.

_How fast do you think you are? _I asked, suddenly, irritated.

_Faster than you._

_Wanna test that?_

_Prepare to get your ass handed to you. _With that, she took off.

_That's not fair!_

_Life isn't fair. _That was enough to make her stride falter, I caught up easily enough despite the residual ache in my shoulder and back.

We both sped up, extending our strides and navigating through the forest with ease. She knew the place like the back of her paw and I only needed to take a peek in her head to see what was coming up next. She tried to think of the wrong thing to throw me off, but her illusions were too far-fetched for me to believe them.

_As if there's going to be a big green dragon next to the tree over there. I'll prove it. _I thought haughtily, deliberately rushing toward it – only to find that it was a thorny bush in reality. _Fuck!_

_Ha ha, slowpoke! _She thought cheerily, breezing by me as I tumbled to the ground, yelping in pain.

Doing a funky three-legged-hop of a run, I tried to catch up, but that's hard to achieve when your paw is throbbing from who-knows-how-many-thorns.

_My mom is such a... ugh! _Embry had phased (see, I'm getting "better"). _Hey, what are you guys doing? _Leah filled him in, much to my displeasure. _You ran into a _thorn bush_? Niiice. Sucks for you. Wait. You guys are racing!? Why didn't you tell me? This is like ragnarok! The epic battle of the two bitches! Oh boy, Quil will want to see this! _He threw his head back and howled, hoping that Quil would be the one to respond.

_Yeah, well, it's not going to be much of a race. _I thought bitterly.

_It never was, everyone knows I am the fastest._

_More like the most deceptive. _I protested. _This proves nothing speed-wise._

_Jealous of my cunning?_

_Not at all. _It _was_ pretty sly, though, I had fallen for it easily enough, hadn't I?

_I would expect nothing less from _you. _Now that we've established I'm the most evolved –_

_EMBRY? What's wrong?! _Jacob was in a panic, having thought there was an actual emergency to attend to.

_Er... that howl wasn't meant for you. _Jacob swore at Embry.

I had to stop, stretching awkwardly to try and pull some of the thorns from my paw. _Ow. Ow. Ow. _I whined with each one that I carelessly yanked out, ruby-red blood dripping from my toes. _Owwwww._

_You two _fought?! _She's bleeding?_

_No, O fearless leader, we were "racing." Too bad Naomi can't keep up. _Leah snickered inwardly. She replayed the memories happily.

_You're in a good mood. _Embry seemed genuinely surprised. Bitterness washed through Leah and, consequently, all of us. _Not that _that's_ a surprise. ehehe._

_Way to go, moron._

_Ow. _I was going to need some tweezers to get some of these. _Ow, ow, ow. _

_So, you ran into a thorn bush. _Jacob was disapproving.

_It's not entirely my – well. I know better than to trust Leah? _It _was_ my fault, loathe as I was to admit it. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

_You trusted Leah? _Embry was skeptical.

_Of course not. Who would trust _her? _Not me. It's just... now I know I won't?_

_Good. _Leah didn't want my trust anyway.

Jacob showed up, whipping around a tree, looking at me as though I were a five-year-old.

_Damn, you're flexible. _Embry was surprised at the way I was sitting in such a contorted position, seeing it through Jacob's eyes.

_Why, you interested in her? _Leah mocked caustically.

_Darling, you know I only have eyes for you. _Leah mock-gagged at this.

_I wasn't mock-gagging, I am going to genuinely vomit all over you, Embry. _She decided to change direction and go toward him, to which he promptly took off in the other direction, feigning fear.

_Need help? _

_No, Jacob, I don't. I got this. I got this. I got this. _I plucked another one out. _Fucking A! I don't suppose you've got tweezers on you?_

_Not me. _No one else did.

_Got a bathroom with such an item handy?_

_At my house...? _

_Could I go there, then? _Immediately, I had directions to Jacob's house. It was pretty far from here.

_Mine's closer. _Leah offered, mostly not voluntarily. _Not that I'm inviting you._

_Leah. _

_Jake._

_Leah._

_Jake._

_What about Embry? _Embry asked, pretending to be hurt. _Everyone forgets about me!_

_What about Quil? _Quil had phased. _Sorry I'm late. What's happening?_

_Nothing._

_Naomi's stupid. But we already knew that, right? _I growled. Although Leah couldn't physically hear me, she kind of could, in a way. Leah was playing recap-telivision again.

_Haha, wow. _Quil was amused.

_Fine. The bitch can go to my house. Don't expect me to give her a walking tour. I'll be waiting. _Leah practically sang the last part, milking the fact that, for the moment, she could run far faster then I could. But that was just for the moment. I'd beat her soon enough. _Dream on, bitchy-bitch._

_Bitchy-bitch? Really?_

_Really, Naomi-Bitchy-Bitch._

I stood, holding my back-left leg up off the ground as to not step and drive any thorns in deeper, ignoring Jacob's titter at the funny-looking stance.

_I did not "titter." _The males immediately thought of woman's breasts. I was rightfully disgusted.

_Perverts._

_Welcome to my world. _Leah said with a trace of humor in her caustic tone. She was just about to her house already.

I took off, almost falling over at how imbalanced I was. I tried to make myself like a tripod, keeping my back legs close together, but only one, uninjured paw on the ground. I felt like a bear, moving in such a rolling motion, feeling rather slow.

_I suppose I should offer you a pair of clothes, then? Seeing as you ripped up the ones you borrowed. _I winced guiltily at that.

_I didn't mean to._

_Well, you still did it. You're probably too fat for my clothes, _I knew that was unlikely, we werewolves were in perfect physical shape, _but I suppose I could spare some of my rattier tees and shorts. _

_I'd be grateful._

_In that case, maybe not._

_Erm... that would suck to wear such... uh... awful clothes?_

_Then I most certainly will make you wear them._

_Leah, you're weird. _Embry announced, pausing from sparring with Quil.

You're _weird. _Leah said dryly, before phasing, planning to sneak into the house and grab some clothes once inside.

_We shape-shifters are nudists, too, apparently. _Quil offered, avoiding a well-aimed blow from Embry. He wasn't as fast as Embry was, though, if they had been serious he would have taken quite the hit. _I'm stronger than I appear. _

_Yeah, right. _Everyone thought that was unlikely.

It took me a while, but I finally got to Leah's house. She must have heard my ungraceful approach, because some clothing was tossed out an open window, landing with a _thwap_ on the grass. I sneaked as best a massive white wolf could over to them, grabbing them gingerly with my teeth.

_I wouldn't say that you're massive._

_I wouldn't either._

_I'm larger than a normal wolf, so shut up. _Hiding back in the bushes, I phased and slipped the clothes on in record time. Leah had been kind enough to spare a bra, one that smelled like it had been freshly laundered, which was, surprisingly, the right size. Sure that my chin-length heir was a hopeless mess, I self-consciously jogged/hopped, barefoot and one-leggedly, up to her house. I knocked on the screen door cautiously.

"Just come in, stupid!" It was surprisingly weird, hearing Leah's voice somewhere other than in my mind. She sounded the same, really.

After a moment's hesitation, I opened the door, nearly jumping out of my skin at the loud creak the screen made as it was moved.

"Jumpy, much?"

"Of course not." She rolled her eyes and pointed to a hall past a small kitchen.

"First door to your right, can't miss it." She said, mockingly, given that this was a small house, I doubted I could get lost anyway.

"Th-" I remembered that she didn't really want to help me, so I cut myself off. It'd probably just piss her off to thank her.

I ducked my head under the doorway, or as best I could while half-hopping and half-limping, since we shifters were tall, I left the door partly open. I didn't want to close the door; this was too small of a room for that. I didn't like houses much, they were too closed-off. The sooner I could get out of here, the better.

I noticed that there was a pair of tweezers noticeably on the countertop by the sink, looking as though they had been placed there deliberately, the way it was sitting so neatly and upright. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, held my breath, and got the rest of the thorns out. _Phew. _I held a hand under my foot to catch the drops of blood, not wanting to make a mess, waiting for my foot to heal.

Hearing a sound, I looked up to see Leah in the doorway, studying me. I raised my eyebrows questioningly. Was _she_ hesitating?

"So, you're _half_-shape-shifter, right?"

"Yeah."

"One of your parents was a shape-shifter? Like me, like Embry? Like Jake, Quil, all of us?"

"...Yeah?"

"Your father was a shape-shifter, then? And your mother was a werewolf?"

"What's it to you?"

"Just answer the damned question." There was something strange about her face, about her demeanor. Something between anger and... panic? Anxiety? Hell if I knew. "Fine. Nevermind. Forget I asked." She turned to leave.

"No." I called after her.

"Excuse me?" She was back in the doorway in a flash, scowling.

"My father was not a shape-shifter. He was a Child of the Moon. Female werewolves are infertile..." She flinched, I wasn't sure why. "My mother was a shape-shifter."

"Like me?"

"Like you...? As in, yeah, she was a shape-shifter. Turned into a wolf any time she wanted..."

"Did she menstruate?"

"What the fuck? What does _that_ have to do with anything?"

"Did she have periods? You know? Bleed from her vag–"

"Ugh." That was _disgusting. _"No. _No. _Ick. No, none of us do!" What did _that_ have to do with anything? "Not when we're shape-phasing." Why did she look... hopeful? I frowned at her.

"She stopped phasing to have you?" I shook my head. "She still phased and had you?"

"I... If I remember right, she was in wolf form when she _gave birth_." Maybe a TMI would get her to quit asking questions. It didn't work.

"Really?"

"Why, you planning on making babies soon?" She scowled.

"No." She paused. "But if I wanted to, I could?"

"Yeah. If it's the right time of year –"

"When's that?"

"I don't know!" She looked _crestfallen._ I hadn't known her more than a freaking _day_ and for some reason I could tell that that was not a normal facial expression on this girl. "My mother and I didn't exactly... talk about that shit. Not much."

I looked at my foot, seeing that the skin had healed, not even the slightest blemish remained. I walked to the sink, rinsing my hands and the tweezers off.

"One, I still think you're stupid. And I've got plenty of evidence to back it up already." Leah announced, her voice cold and flat, _normal_, again. "Two, thanks. That's all you get. Make sure you don't leave a mess." She walked away.

_That was weird. _ I surveyed the bathroom, ensuring that I hadn't left a trace of anything, before walking out, not quite sure what was to come next.

* * *

_author's shameless include:_

Please don't get spoiled by these über-frequent updates! I'm not normally this good. :P but I've had a lot of free time lately, online classes rock, and I've been in a writing mood.

I apologize that this was terribly short compared to the previous chapter, but I'll aim to have the next one be a bit longer. :)

I'm also pretty stoked 'cause I've got most of the storyline figured out (yeah I suck at outlining shit), so now I know where I'm going with all of this. I've even started thinking about ways to start the sequel. O_O Getting way ahead of myself, aren't I? Still, I'm excited, nonetheless. Let's see if I can finish this story first, though, rofl, I have never finished a story longer than 5,000 words in my life, so... just a warning. I'm feeling really good about this one, though, so don't worry _too_ much. :P

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

pointing out errors/inconsistencies would be super beneficial for me! I'm only human, I might slip up quite a bit. I am trying to be somewhat compliant with the series, but I will take occasional liberties. still, if there is something totally wrong (like if I said that alice had long orange-red hair, haha) don't be afraid to let me know. if you also think someone is totally OOC, I'd love tips on how to make them more in-line with what they probably are. :]

xoxo lovesremnant


	5. chapter five!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter five.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Thank you, xXxBeyondxBirthdayxXx, Fireflies-Flying, and XxMichyBabyxX for reviewing chapter four!

* * *

Leah was leaning against the doorframe, looking ready to just walk outside at any moment. She heard my approach, glancing at me, her expression stony.

"It might be summer, so you'll get away with wearing shorts," _if I hadn't been ordered to shape-phase I'd still have my jeans, even though that's not your fault, _"but normal people, meaning everyone but you, have some kind of footwear." She pointed to a closet. "There should be some sandals in there, just find a pair that fits."

"Good thing shape-shifter girls are similar in size, no?" She didn't reply.

Almost contritely, I opened the closet, not too keen on going through other peoples' stuff. Fortunately for me, there was a pair that looked about the right size, right by the door. They were a bit squished, another pair of shoes was stacked on them, but they'd be enough. Forgetting myself, "Hey, thanks –" but she was already gone.

_For all you know, I might be a robber! _I was a bit surprised that she'd leave me alone in her house. _Not that there's much to steal. _I looked around, not seeing anything of value. Not that I _was_ a thief, mind you, I like to think I've got a bit of class. Still, I was surprised.

When I reached to open the door to leave, I noticed that it didn't have a lock. _Why so trusting?_

_

* * *

_

_Wonder if my shoes weren't ripped up too bad when I shif-phased. _The sandals were so thin and lacked any kind of give... _Appearances, appearances. At least I look normal._

"Snooping?" Not expecting the deep voice, I was gone in a flash, blurring around the corner of the house away from the sound, flat up against the wall, hiding out of sight. This was met by laughter, before Jacob was in front of me the next instant, smirking. "Jumpy, much?"

"I'm cautious. So what?" I frowned at him, willing my heart to chill the fuck out and hoping like crazy my face did not betray the panic that had risen so quickly from the surprise.

"_Cautious? _'Cautious' does not mean zipping away just 'cause someone says something." _In my world, it does. _He raised a mocking brow, nodding at my hands, which, as I failed to realize, were gripping the edges of one of the wooden panels of the wall. Saying nothing, I crossed my arms with what little dignity I had, feeling the faint burn as the scrape on my palm that I had gotten from the rough wood healed in an instant. "So. What's your plan?"

"...My plan?"

"Since you're gonna have to live here –"

"Say what?"

"You're part of the pack, that means... you should be... You need to be with the pack."

"Ah... well, hate to disappoint, but that's not going to work." I slipped by him, walking a few steps away while I making sure to face him. I didn't want to turn my back to anyone when they were within a few feet of me, I'd done that far too much within the last day.

"Not going to work?" He asked skeptically.

"I can't stay in one place."

"And why is that?" I gave him my best _duh_ face.

"Vampires."

"You can't stay because of vampires?"

"They wiped out the majority of my father's _species._ Of course I can't stay in one place –"

"There are vamps in Forks, yet you didn't seem to worried there." _What?_

"What?"

"There's a coven there."

"And you guys are okay with that?" They may not have been the ones persecuted, but who's to say that the blood-suckers wouldn't change their tactics?

"We have a treaty."

"A _treaty?_" I took a step back.

"A treaty. We're..." He looked loathe to say it. Almost. Not quite. "...cool."

"You're... cool with vampires. _Vampires._"

"More or less. Seth imprinted on a half-vampire and the Cullens are peaceful enough. They don't cause any trouble."

"But they're vampires."

"Haven't we established that?"

"See? That's why I can't stay in one place. I might end up like you guys –"

"Like us guys?"

"– with your false sense of security –"

"False sense of –"

"– 'cause that's how you die, dude, alright?"

"We don't _die_. We're shape-shifters." His face turned ugly. Well, that's kind of a lie. But on most faces his expression would be ugly. It was reminiscent of a wolf's snarl, the way his lip turned up and his nose scrunched up a bit. Strangely enough, it had the same effect as it would if he were in wolf form, even though on any other face, it would have looked like he... like he... like he was going to hurl or something.

"Everybody dies." _Nata did._ "Might as well try to put it off, though, right? So I move around. Safer that way."

"Safer. Alone is safer?" I could tell he didn't believe it for a second. I could understand why.

"No one to slow you down." That almost hurt to say. "Shape-shifters rely on packs for their strength, but werewolves... Werewolves don't need that. They're just as strong, if not stronger, when on their own."

"But you're not a werewolf."

"I am in part."

"_Only_ in part." As much as I would never want to admit it, I knew full well that Shape-shifter genes had ended up being the most dominant for me; I could shift in a flash, shifting was easy enough, and my wolf form was relatively small. I was all-but identical to Leah as a wolf, the only real difference being in my fur color. If that wasn't proof... I didn't know what was. I wasn't planning on saying any of this, though.

"Regardless, I'm not like you guys. I don't need that."

"Too bad, it's not about you anymore."

"And the reason for that is...?"

"Because it's done. You're part of the pack, you can't undo that –"

"– but didn't Embry say something about joining –"

"You're not joining Sam's pack. It doesn't work that way. _I'm_ the true Alpha." _What was it and that phrase? "True Alpha?"_

"And that's supposed to mean...?"

"I'm Alpha. By blood. So my word is law."

"Oh, really?"

"I can prove it." He offered.

"That's not necessary!" I said quickly. "Nah, man, I get it. You're the 'True Alpha' and your word is _the_ law. Got it, got it. No need for proof, you've already proved it, alright?"

"**You're staying.**" _Not. Fucking. Fair. _

"I already _knew_ that. You already Commanded that. I was just hoping you'd reconsider –"

"Decision's final." He looked amused.

"– and..." He'd interrupted me, I didn't have a reason to continue talking as a consequence. _Damn._

"And?"

"Nothing." I flicked away a mosquito. _Hate those things. _

"Who's Nathaniel?" The question seemed to have struck him just at that moment.

"_Natanael._" I corrected, almost offended. "He's dead." He waited a few moments, expecting a story. I didn't give him one.

"Was he your...?"

"What's it to you?"

"Just curious."

"Jealous?"

"Not on your life." He was curious, though, I could tell. I didn't say a word. "Aren't girls supposed to be gossip _hounds_? Always dishing everything out whenever possible?"

"Ha. Ha." I drawled. My brother was not _gossip._ "And Leah is?"

"Good point." He was silent for a few long moments. "So what's your plan?" _Back to that again?_

"I don't have one." I said honestly.

"You're going to make one, right?" I shrugged. "Where are you going to stay? You're not honestly going to just sleep in the woods all the time?"

"Sounds fine to me."

"So you're a hobo."

"A _hobo?_"

"You're homeless." He said by way of explanation.

"I'm _not_ a hobo!"

"...I think you are."

"I'm _not_ a _hobo!_"

"Denial isn't just a river in –"

"Egypt, I know. I'm not a hobo. I just... I'm thrifty." I was pleased about finding such an elegant explanation.

"Thrifty."

"Yes."

"A thrifty hobo?"

"No. I'm just thrifty. I am thrifty. I am not a hobo."

"But you are a hobo. And... I guess you could be considered thrifty, though..."

"What?"

"Civilization is a good thing." I glared at him.

"I'm civil _enough._"

"Are you?"

"Absolutely. I just sleep in the forest. It's just like camping. Just... without a tent, GPS, a campfire..."

"Everything that makes camping 'camping.'"

"I don't need a tent or GPS."

"Do you get tired of being wolf?"

"Do _you_?" I think I had him there. He grinned.

"Where do you work?"

"I don't. Not regularly."

"You don't work." He didn't bother saying it like a question.

"No. Not in the traditional sense. I do odd jobs here and there... but not a 9-5 job, if that's what you're wondering. They aren't..." _They aren't normally _legal. He seemed to get the gist, though. A funny look crossed his face.

"Are you a hooker?" He asked in all seriousness, reducing me to a sputtering mess.

"Wha-a _hooker?_ A _prostitute? _What?" I could feel my eyes bugging out of my head. "Are you _kidding_ me?"

"...No?"

"You think I'm a _hooker?_"

"What am I supposed to think? Odd jobs here and there, wink wink, they aren't... dot, dot, dot...?" He spoke in a terribly suggestive tone.

"I did not _wink_! That was all it took you to think I'm a _whore_?" I didn't realize that I was trembling, no, _vibrating._ I didn't realize that there was a couple down the street who was openly staring. Fortunately, he did.

"_**Calm down. Do not phase.**_" He all-but hissed, keeping his voice down. Then, I could barely remember why I was freaked in the first place. He snapped his finger in the air. "Anyone home?" Blinking, I snapped out of it.

"I'm not a hooker."

"Okay."

"I'm not a hooker."

"Okay."

"I'm not a hooker."

"_Okay._"

"I'm not –"

"You're not a hooker." I nodded in reply.

"Right." He started walking away from the nosy people, who I still didn't notice, and would never know about until later. I felt oddly compelled to follow, falling in step near him, subconsciously keeping a seemingly set amount of distance between us. If he was the Alpha, I was an Omega. There was a strange sense of contentment in just _following. _A feeling of lessened responsibility, somehow.

"You're going to need a job."

"Why?" I asked.

"'Cause that's what normal people do: work."

"I don't exactly have a college degree or anything." _I _do _have a counterfeit high school diploma in a safety deposit box down by Arizona..._

"You can probably find something." He paused. "Do you really eat... rabbits? Deer? Uncooked?"

"As in... hunting while in wolf form? Yeah...?" He looked positively _green._

"Yuck."

"How so?"

"Raw meat? How not?"

"I wouldn't eat it in human form, of course, this body isn't meant to digest that. But the wolf is, the wolf is fine with that."

"'The wolf?'"

"I might not have a very strong one, not like Nata did..."

"'Nata?'" He pronounced it wrong. _Nata, _I thought, _no one ever gets your name._

I kept going, ignoring the question, he hadn't Commanded me to answer, "I think mine is just dormant, if there at all."

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"Werewolves have... an inner wolf." He raised a brow, looking at me. "When true Moon Children shift forms during full moons, the wolf is taking over. The wolf gathers his or her strength from the moon."

"I thought they just lost control." I shook my head.

"Not of themselves, really, no, they just aren't there at all. The wolf is a true animal, it feels no emotion, no guilt, nothing...." I tried not to think about my father's long seemingly-neverending rambles and wonderings. _The wolf _is_ you, it's just that most are unable to control it. Naomi! I think I can control it! This next full moon, I think I might be able to make peace with this... this... other side of me. _I never believed him; no one ever did. While my father was highly esteemed, some of his ideas were considered eccentric and misguided. "It just... eats."

"Eats?" Now _I_ felt a little sick.

"It's irrelevant."

"Irrelevant?"

"It doesn't matter. Most of them are dead," I said bitterly, "you probably won't ever see a Fullblood."

"I never thought I'd even see a... halfblood?"

"Lucky you, then." He was looking at me, studying me.

"What are you?"

"I'm half-"

"No, like... human-wise. Like British, German, Russian.... Quileute?"

"My mother was French. My father was... hell, I don't know what all he was. I think he was kinda Slavic, I don't know. We were all mutts in my family. Literally...." I let my voice trail off and we were silent for a few strides.

Jacob stiffened, I could _feel_ the tension in the air in that instant. Instinctively, I surveyed our surroundings, cursing myself for not paying attention. _What's wrong?_ There was a guy walking toward us, looking much like Jacob and the human forms (according to what they looked like as best as I was able to discern from others' thoughts). This was a Native American reservation, I had known that, I was just struck by how similar they all looked. I inhaled subtly, sniffing the air discreetly. _Shape-shifter. _Another of the pack? No, Jacob was far from hostile, but there was something still about his demeanor... Was it respect? Not quite... Jacob relaxed, though, any edge that may have been there was gone. I realized I'd been holding my breath.

"Jacob."

"Sam." _This was the guy Embry had been talking about? The one Leah despises but... loves?_

"Who's this?" He said, not unkindly.

"I'm Naomi." I was suddenly aware that I couldn't have looked very nice, with my short hair and lack of makeup. I'd never been able to afford the latter. _Shit. I should have checked to see if Leah had any scissors. _I wouldn't have minded trimming my hair.

"She's..." He seemed genuinely perplexed. "She's one of us?"

"She's part of my pack, yes." There was something pointed about the way Jacob said this.

"Does that mean...?" Sam seemed to be on high alert all of the sudden.

"Probably not. She's been phasing for a long time." Sam's brow furrowed in confusion, I'd imagine that mine did, too, not knowing what they were talking about. "Longer than you." Sam looked downright skeptical. "She's half-werewolf." Jacob added. _Why was this necessary?_

"Werewolf? As in..."

"Half like us, half like..."

"'Child of the Moon,' was it?"

"Yeah."

"What does it matter?" I cut in, frowning.

"It doesn't." When Jacob said this, there was a look on Sam's face that said otherwise. "Something you need, Sam?"

Sam was looking at me with an odd expression before seeming to snap himself out of it. "No, I was just making sure things are alright with you guys."

"They are."

"Good." He glanced, almost uneasily and with a hint of speculation in his eyes, at me before looking at Jacob and nodding. "I'll be going, then."

"Alright."

"It was nice meeting you, Naomi." He nodded at me and continued walking down the street, passing by us.

When I was sure that he was out of shape-shifter earshot, I looked at Jacob as we began walking again.

"Who was that?"

"The other Alpha."

"I thought you were the 'True Alpha?'"

"I am." I waited for him to explain further. "There's two packs."

"I noticed."

"And you belong in _mine._"

* * *

_author's shameless include:_

-yawns- I'm really tired. Be grateful that I hammered most of this chapter out tonight, 'cause I'm exhausted!

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

pointing out errors/inconsistencies would be super beneficial for me! I'm only human, I might slip up quite a bit. I am trying to be somewhat compliant with the series, but I will take occasional liberties. still, if there is something totally wrong (like if I said that alice had long orange-red hair, haha) don't be afraid to let me know. if you also think someone is totally OOC, I'd love tips on how to make them more in-line with what they probably are. :]

xoxo lovesremnant


	6. chapter six!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter six.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Thank you, Fireflies-Flying, JuSJaZ82, xXxBeyondxBirthdayxXx, and XxMichyBabyxX for reviewing chapter five!

* * *

_And you belong in _mine.

"Way to not answer my question." I snapped, raising my eyebrows. "If you're the 'True Alpha' then why is there another one?"

"It's a long story." He said with a shrug.

"I have time."

"I don't." _Ouch._

"Oh... 'kay." I expected him to explain why he didn't have time, say he had some thing somewhere, then take off. Instead, we just kept walking. "So."

"So...?"

"If you don't have time... That means you're gonna be going, then?"

"You want to get rid of me?" He said in a mock-wounded tone. I made a face. "I dunno... it's just not relevant."

"And yet you just broadcast that I'm half-werewolf to him?"

"That's different." Then I got it.I gave a slight nod of understanding. He looked confused. "What?"

"I get it."

"Get what?"

"Uh... Why you're not willing to share?"

"Why am I not willing to share?"

"'Cause I'm a stranger," I said easily, "I can't be trusted." He looked like he was going to laugh. "What?"

"That's... that's not it." He chuckled.

"Then what is?"

"Maybe I just don't feel like talking about it? History lessons are boring. 'Sides, I can show it to you while we're in wolf form, anyway." That was true. "Why are you so interested?" I would have thought he was genuinely suspicious, if not for the humorous light in his dark eyes. And his eyes were dark; most of the folks here had dark eyes. Dark eyes, dark hair, rich skin. I felt out of place with my white-blonde hair and silvery eyes, eyes that would lighten more with each passing night as the moon waxed further.

"Uh..." Even though he wasn't serious, I suddenly felt like it was. Why _was_ I so interested? I'd played the part of Lone Wolf for 12 years; I _never_ conversed with other people. I stayed as far away from urban areas as I could, only did odd jobs with the underground society when I needed the money, but I spent a great deal of time as a wolf for the most part. Was this just some kind of repressed humanity, bubbling out at the seams given the first real opportunity? _No._ _I have no humanity. _It was silly to try and fool myself for even a second. If I had gotten stronger genes from my father I might have been at risk for eating people, for God's sake! _But I don't do that, I am repulsed by the idea of killing mindlessly. That has to count for something, right? _But did it count for enough?

"Earth to Naomi?"

"Say what?" I asked, blinking stupidly.

"Am I that boring?"

"Not at all." The lack of hesitation in saying that made my cheeks heat up a little, so I decided to survey our surroundings, conveniently looking the other way.

"So I'm not boring?"

After a moment's pause, an intentional and somewhat-forced one, I responded. "That's what I said, yeah?"

"Am I..." I could _hear _the smirk. "Interesting?"

"Fishing for compliments," I tried to remember his last name, he'd told me it, "Black?"

"Never." He said this with mock-severity. "They're like the fish that jump in your boat! I don't even have to try and bait them."

"I'd beg to differ."

"Would you?"

"That's what I said, yeah?" I repeated, looking back at him. It was a good thing that we shifters must have had a natural sense of balance, being able to look at each other and not what was in front of us and not trip.

"That's what you said, yeah?"

"And what would _you_ say, yeah?"

"I'd say..." I waited for a moment.

"You'd say...?"

"I'd say that... I'd say that..." He pretended to be deep in thought, tapping his chin and tilting his head, looking up at the sky.

"You'd say that...?" I parroted yet again.

"I dunno what I'd say. I forgot." Jacob shrugged. "I'm hungry." _Food and sex, Leah had said. _

"Why am I not surprised?"

"You say that like you have experience."

"Experience?"

"With hungry wolves."

"My brother was a bottomless pit."

"Nathaniel was your brother?"

"_Natanael_ is my brother. Natanael _was_ my brother." I corrected myself, frowning.

"Naw-ta-neel?"

"Natanael."

"Not an eel?" Against my will, I had to snicker at that. I'd have to remember that one for when – _oh. Right._

"Natanael."

"I can't say it like that." He conceded with a shrug.

"Apparently not."

"You said he was dead?"

"Why are you so interested?" I repeated his earlier words.

"Fine, be mysterious..."

"I don't mind mysterious." He looked at me for a moment. The steady, intentional eye contact made me uncomfortable and I wasn't able to maintain it. He was Alpha; I was Omega. I looked away. "Fine. I'll bare my old wounds because you have a creepy look." I was half-serious.

"I don't have a creepy look!" He protested, before sobering a bit. "Nah, it's fine. Nevermind." Truthfully, I was glad. I didn't feel like rehashing what I'd been doing a damned good job of bottling up. Kinda.

"So are we just going to walk from street to street? Are you paying attention to where we're going?"

"Aren't you?"

"Why would I?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

"'Cause I don't know this place?"

"'This place' is La Push." He feigned offense. "Only home of _the_ best pack of Shape-shifters that there is! Probably the home of the _only_ shape-shifter pack!"

"Not quite."

"What?" He deflated. "Oh. Right. You're half-shape-shifter.

"There are other Shape-shifter packs." _Duh._ "I'm pretty sure I'm not..."

"Quileute." He supplied.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm not Quileute."

"That's not fair!"

"...What?"

"How can you pronounce things perfectly like that? I can't even pronounce not-an-eel!"

"Practice?"

"But you haven't said Quileute before? Or have you?"

"No, I haven't. I'm just... I've just learned to... mimic accents? It carries over to words well enough."

"Mimic accents?"

"I meander around, remember? I spent a few weeks in Germany," I said this with a heavy German accent, startling him at the rough change in my voice, "before I took off to Russia," again with the accent change, "I posed as a British tourist while in Asia –"

"I think I get the point."

"Sorry."

"So what's your 'real' accent?"

"As in... my birth one?"

"Yeah."

"Uh... We moved around a lot when I was little, I don't think I have one."

"C'mon, do you at least have a favorite?"

"...No."

"Bull."

"It's not bull. I don't... I don't really think about it."

"Hm." He seemed to remember something. "So there are other packs?"

"Well, there's the one that's apparently led by Sam," he gave me a sardonic look, "They are scattered about... oddly enough, they are mostly concentrated in North America, from what I can tell."

"From what you can tell."

"Yeah, I don't really get in contact with them... not any more than catching a faint scent here and there."

"And...?"

"I run like hell to get away from their territory?"

"Would you have done that if you would have ended up near La Push?"

"Absolutely."

"You didn't, though."

"I never went near La Push." He mumbled a concession. "Anyway. Why are we walking?"

"Aw, I thought we were bonding. _Connecting._" He grinned.

"Yeah, right. Totally feeling a connection right now."

"I think I'm having some frantic heart palpitations!"

"Wow, really?" I pretended to be worried.

"Yes!" He clutched his chest, stopping and posing dramatically. "Be still, my beating heart!"

"Wouldn't that make you dead?" He pondered this for a moment. "Suicide is not the answer!" I added in a sing-song voice.

"Be slower, my beating heart!" Jacob amended. "Do you accept my most sincerest affections, fair lady of the moon?" I tried not to burst out laughing, aiming for a serious face and voice.

"Oh, but I do not know you! I am most sensible, you see?" He pretended to be dismayed. "And I worry about if you are worth my –"

A howl rang out, loud and clear. The amusement in the air dissipated in that instant, both of us snapping to attention. It was odd how the alarm that normally would have made me reflexively flee now made me reflexively ready to seek out the source.

Still, when Jacob took off for the trees, of which were so plentiful here, a blur to even my keen eyes, I hesitated.

"Are you coming?" The sound was nearly lost as he phased, just out of sight. Still, I heard it, and it was the only invitation I needed as I rushed to follow.

* * *

After carefully, but swiftly, hiding the clothes at the base of a tree, I phased.

_I am going to KILL you!_

_Leah-dear –_

_Don't fucking call me that!_

_Ehehe... Leah. Leah, Leah, Leah – _Embry was stalling for some reason, just repeating her name over and over as he slunk to the ground, while Leah circled him in a predatory manner, positively seething. _Leah._

_Jake's here! _Quil was beside himself with relief at that realization. _Leah's going to kill Embry! _

_No, I'm not! _I could see/hear/sense Leah sit back on her haunches, cool as a cucumber. _I would do no such thing. _At Jacob's doubt, she feigned offense. _How could you think such a thing?_

_Don't kill Embry._

_Noooo! You've gotta command it! Puh-leeze?_

_Ha! _Leah was smug, for a moment, then...

_**Do not kill Embry.**_

_Yesss!_

_Nooo!_

_I can feel the love. _I mocked, racing toward where this was going on, easily catching up to Jacob, despite his head start. Still, I did not allow myself to pass him, keeping a few wolf-lengths between us. Omegas did not lead.

_Enjoying the view? _Leah mocked, at which I growled.

_I have standards._

_Ouch. _Embry and Quil thought this at the same time.

_You owe me soda! _Quil called out in our heads, causing a collective wince at the volume. _Whoops, sorry._

_No need to project 'em that loud, Quil. And I don't think I owe you anything._

_Jinx! That meant you owed me soda!_

_You have to call the Jinx first before you can make me owe you soda._

_Jinx! You owe me soda!_

_Too late._

_Says who?_

_Says me._

_Not only can I feel the love, but I'm astounded at the maturity._

_Oh, okay, miss high and mighty new-girl. _

_Yeah, that's not very respectful to your elders._

_My elders? _I asked Quil skeptically.

_Yeah, we've been here longer than you. We're seniors compared to you. You're just a pup._

_A pup? How long have you been shif-phasing? _I'd been able to shift for twelve years, which meant half of my life. Only recently had my age caught up to my physical appearance.

_Damn._

_Ha._

_Still, I've been in the pack longer._

_We all have. _Embry added, not wanting to be left out. I hadn't been paying much attention to Jacob or Leah, who were halfheartedly bickering, her upset that he was constantly ordering to do shit, when she was a Beta perfectly capable of making her own decisions.

I sat down, bored.

I'm _bored. _Quil complained. Embry thought his agreement.

_For being werewolves –_

_Shapeshifters. _I corrected.

– _there isn't much to do anymore. Except run boring patrols. It's bull that Sam's pack gets the day shifts. _The mention of Sam was enough to garner Jacob's attention, to Leah's ire at being somewhat-ignored in the middle of a tirade.

_But don't you like being free for the day? _I tried to be positive, occasionally.

_Yeah, but my mother gets pissed at me, _I couldn't hide my amusement and grinned, _and fuck off, Naomi._

_I feel old. _I didn't have my mother to deal with. _Wow, that sounded bad._

_Yeah, it did._

I frowned at Quil, or as best as a wolf could frown. _I've had time to come to terms with her death. Life goes on. _There was niggling discomfort at this road of conversation, although Leah was treating it like ammunition, rifling through my thoughts. _I don't suppose I could go for a run?_

_You need permission?_

_I don't need permission, _I glared at Embry.

_Then why'd you ask for it?_

_Fine. I'm going, then. _And I was. Even Quil was impressed that I had been gone in a white blur so quickly.

_Dude, I swear, new-girl's got the hots for you or something. _Embry said/thought. _She misses you when you're gone, she pays attention to when you're 'impressed' –_

_Shut it, Embry. _I snapped at the air for emphasis as I whizzed past trees, whipping around tight corners as I tried to learn the new terrain. This was incredibly easy, though, for if any others peeked in my mind and saw where I was, they could not help but know where that place led to. They were better than GPS.

_Thanks!_

Leah was half-tempted to take off after me to show off how much faster she was, debatable as that assumption was.

_Oh, please. We've established that I can go further than you._

_Ha! Hardly._

I made sure not to go where their thoughts indicated where Forks would be, given that there were, my stomach ached now, vampires.

_God _damn_ will you just... just... get over that?_

_Insensitive, much?_

_Girlie, you're running with wolves now, or at least the big boys, _I snickered inwardly, _you better get used to insensitivity._

_'Cause you guys are so stone-cold with your imprints, _Leah flinched, _and undying affections?_

_Damn straight._

_Undying affections? You mean me? _Jacob threw in.

_Ohhhh, Quil, I hate to break it to you, but... Breaking news! Naomi dumped you for the top guy himself!_

_Looks like she skipped you entirely! _Quil mocked, which was enough for Embry to pretend to frown and puzzle over _that._

_I think I'm over you all, actually. _Cue fake indignation here. _I like the single life too much to leave it for some rangy mutts._

_You're all confidence now, darling –_

_Gag me. _Leah was disgusted by our jokes.

– _but I'm good at changing minds._

_Not _that_ good. _Embry's thoughts, which, in his defense, from what I could tell, were reflexive and not necessarily intentional, kicked Jacob in the stomach. These thoughts whirled around for a moment as Jacob tried to block them out, tried to forget, and Embry desperately tried to think of something else, _anything_ else. I could see a girl, a teenager, with dark hair, dark eyes, and pale skin. Someone _dear_, someone _loved._ Morbidly curious as I was, I focused on the blurring scenery, pushing myself to pick up speed.

_As much as I enjoy this pity-party, I think I prefer my own company. _With that, Leah was gone. Well, not _gone _gone, just no longer in wolf form.

_Thanks for the clarification. _Jacob said sarcastically.

_I'm just helping out... _I offered, mentally shrugging. He, and the other two, appreciated the light humor.

Looking back, I wish I would have noticed that I was no longer running in a random, whimsical direction, but that I was following something. "Something" being a scent. Hindsight is always 20/20, though. At that point in time, I was paying attention to others' thoughts, not where I was going. In doing so, I wasn't fully in control, in a sense. What I would have always called instinct seized the opportunity, careful to be subtle. _Instinct _had found something of interest, unbeknownst to me.

I didn't know what I was doing until I leaped out from behind a bush, just a few strides behind a silver-gray wolf that was much larger than me.

_What the fuck?_

_Who's that? Is that P–_

I stopped paying attention, stunned. The wolf, whose scent said _male, _only just hearing my approach when I had landed on a pile of dirt and grass with a _thud_, whirled around, his lips pulling back in a menacing snarl.

Who would I be if I hadn't decided to reply with one of my own?

* * *

_author's shameless include:_

I'm struggling with how sociable Naomi is turning out to be. Given her past, it would seem like she should be more like Leah. At the same time... despite the fact her brother's death probably made her more serious, I think that suddenly being in a pack environment makes her feel a bit lighter. She can feel like she's got the pack's backing, right? "Less responsibility" like she said in the last chapter? Subconsciously, anyway. I dunno. Your guys' thoughts?

By the way, the end of this chapter and the start of the next one is totally for JuSJaZ82. xD Hopefully they will know why~

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

pointing out errors/inconsistencies would be super beneficial for me! I'm only human, I might slip up quite a bit. I am trying to be somewhat compliant with the series, but I will take occasional liberties. still, if there is something totally wrong (like if I said that alice had long orange-red hair, haha) don't be afraid to let me know. if you also think someone is totally OOC, I'd love tips on how to make them more in-line with what they probably are. :]

xoxo lovesremnant


	7. interlude: natanael

**TRAUM.**

_**interlude: natanael.  
**_

_**

* * *

**_Thanks to: Fireflies-Flying, JuSJaZ82, xXxBeyondxBirthdayxXx, and XxMichyBabyxX for reviewing chapter six! You guys are fabulous!

* * *

In the beginning, he had known only rage, known only hatred and an all-consuming need to _kill_, to _hunt_, to _slaughter. _He had relinquished control of the wolf within, let his other, primal self take over in the hope that ancient instincts would provide better knowledge on how to escape.

That hadn't worked out, though. His wolf was unable to concentrate, _he _was unable to concentrate, with all this silver in the air. His wolf was just as powerless as his humanoid self, and it was killing him, _had_ killed him.

_You never know what you've got 'til it's gone._

That saying mocked him constantly, a ceaseless, _merciless_, mantra that weakened him far more than these silver-lined chains and the lack of nourishment ever could.

His wolf had retreated, shutting itself down temporarily to try and conserve precious energy. It was as if half of his soul had disappeared with it. He had never known how much the wolf-side had just _been there._ Always there. He'd taken it for granted, hadn't realized what weight it had always held within his mind, even when he thought he had shut it out. _Oh, _how he wished he had never thought to even try and shut it out. In doing so, he'd only shut a part of _himself_ out. Now, he feared, it may have been gone for good.

He had gotten the werewolf genes, Ree had always said, while she had gotten the shape-shifter ones. She, who was small and swift, while he was easily three or four times her size and of solid muscle. True werewolves were enormous, even he was smaller than their father, who had been Turned via a bite.

Having a dominant werewolf side was his greatest strength; having a dominant werewolf side was his greatest weakness. _Silver._ The smell of it was nauseating, the pungent odor far more repelling than a vampire's sickly sweet scent. He'd take a room full of vampires to having to breathe the faintest trace of silver. Ree had always been so lucky, she'd never understood why he couldn't _stand_ it when they'd walk by a human with silver chain or watch, she'd mock him tirelessly for downright fleeing a city after walking by jewelry store, nearly bursting from his flesh right then and there. No, she'd never understand that. She had all the benefits as far as he could tell: she could shift at will, merely guided but not controlled by the moon, _the lovely moon_, she could wear a silver necklace if she wanted to, she could do this, she could do that – _she did not have an inner wolf._ Not like he did. Her greatest strength and her greatest weakness: her lack of a Moon's wolf within.

Ree would never understand a lot of things.

_Why did he torture himself so? _Thinking about his sister? Reflecting on this, reflecting on that? While occasionally he could fool himself into believing the pain numbed out, pretend it was a dull ache, not affecting him _that_ much... but the knowledge that silver lie not even a half-inch beyond the plastic outer-edges of the cuffs and chains made him want to howl his agony to the world, made him want to go through the horrors of shifting forms endlessly, if only to get as far away from this _dungeon_, this _cage,_ this God-forsaken _prison._

_If we are so strong, why are we so _weak? A simple metal had such a profound effect on them all. The vampires, bitter and hated as they were to him, had been smart – he'd admit that. They had fabricated lies long ago before humans even knew to think of them, had spread falsehoods that reached the mythical status that was still seen today. On the other end of the spectrum, the Moon's Children had done no such thing. By the time they considered spreading rumors to ease the humans off of their trail – for as oblivious and fragile as they may have been, their subconscious knew more than their brains could process – it had been too late. The greatest weakness of the werewolves was public knowledge, practically Supernatural Beings 101.

While most had dismissed it as fiction, some didn't.

And now he suffered for his ancestor's mistake.

_The sins of the father._

If he still could move any of his muscles, the male would have laughed caustically at this thought. As it was, he could do no such thing. No, for now... he just lay prone on the ground, still as a _vampire, _for crissakes. Motionless, but not _e_motionless. He still felt everything.

He was thinking too much again, his body had such limited resources, his captors fed him little and nothing that would sustain him comfortable, only enough to where he would flirt with death for a moment, before fluttering back on the living side of the divide, like a loose leaf at the mercy of a slight breeze. But how could he _not_ think? His mind was the only real active part of him anymore.

In the beginning, he had known only rage, known only hatred and an all-consuming need to _kill_, to _hunt_, to _slaughter._

But now, Natanael only knew his dreams, only knew the heart-wrenching _what-if's, _the miserable _had-beens, _and the agonizing _would-be's._

_

* * *

_

_author's shameless include:_

a quick tease, I should be able to upload the real chapter seven, which will technically be number-8, later today/tonight.

I do hope it's not too confusing with the fact he calls her 'Ree.' She calls him Nata, he calls her Ree. Ree is pronounced like "Ray."

I'm taking a lot of liberties with the werewolf/Child of the Moon thing, I hope that's not a turn-off for any of you!  
I'm probably going to adjust a few things in some earlier chapters, but these will be minor at best and will not affect the storyline in any way. Just some rewording here and there to make things flow better, as well as a few minor corrections.

I'll do that before I upload chapter seven, so if you've got this story on your alert, when you get an alert for the next chapter, just skim through the earlier chapters to make sure that you're up-to-date, perhaps? that's far from necessary, though.

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

pointing out errors/inconsistencies would be super beneficial for me! I'm only human, I might slip up quite a bit. I am trying to be somewhat compliant with the series, but I will take occasional liberties. still, if there is something totally wrong (like if I said that alice had long orange-red hair, haha) don't be afraid to let me know. if you also think someone is totally OOC, I'd love tips on how to make them more in-line with what they probably are. :]

xoxo lovesremnant


	8. chapter seven!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter seven!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Much, much thanks to XxMichyBabyxX and xXxBeyondxBirthdayxXx for reviewing the previous interlude! And thank you, LadyAmazon for reviewing two other chapters!

* * *

I felt nothing. Nothing outside of this stranger, anyway. The rush of anticipation as I let _instinct_ take over.

There was no dignity in this wolf's movements, no thought in his action. With a primal roar, he launched himself at me, a silver-grey blur of hulking muscle. All the strength in the world would do him no good if he couldn't catch me, though. Unfortunately, I wasn't as fast as I had been counting on in that instant, inwardly hissing as a clawed paw raked across my shoulder, but I managed to dance out of the way, putting some much-needed distance between us.

The pain shattered _something_. Conflicting sensations swept through me, as though some clouds in my head had cleared, a filter had been removed... but the clarity only made some chaotic thoughts more apparent. I now liken the sensation to sitting in a quiet room, only to open the blinds and see utter destruction outside the window.

_Stupid bitch! What was she thinking? _Leah was racing after where I had gone. I realized that the others were following suit. Seth was present, as well, but he was the farthest one away.

_Naomi?_

_...Hi. _I drove myself against the ground, rolling underneath and away from the strange wolf. His attack had been aimed at me while I was standing, so he went sailing over me, landing on the dirt at the base of a tree. Our growls reverberated in the air, rising in volume every few moments as he'd attack, lower as I'd dodge, rise when he'd attack, lower as I'd dodge...

Their thoughts were distracting me, I couldn't focus.

_Are you fucking kidding me? "_Hi_?" Hi? _

_You're in deep shit! _

_What were you thinking? _

_What _were_ you thinking?_

_You're so dead! _Quil wailed. _You didn't last long at all!_

I felt like anything but dead.

The filter snapped back into place, the clouds fogged up the connection. _Is this what Nata felt when he blocked me out? _I'd never been able to block him out before. _Focus, focus, focus..._

Foolish confidence rising within after another successful dodge, I hurtled myself at him, aiming myself for his side, but I ripped into his chest instead. For the briefest of instants, my teeth slashed through flesh, though most of what I got was just a mouthful of fur. _Shit! _I could _feel_ the impending hit before it was batted me off like a bug, one paw slamming into my side and flinging me away.

The wolf was standing over me before I could even blink, before I could register that I, again, had found myself flat on the ground. _Why does this always happen – _the self-piteous question was effectively cut off as I was forced to roll away clumsily when he went for my throat, ignoring the fact that his claws were digging into my side. It did me no good, for his fangs were inches from me the next instant anyway. In a last bid, I bit him, since he'd made a mistake by exposing the whole side of his face as he went for my throat at an angle. I could feel my teeth sink right into the area above his eye-socket, my bottom teeth jabbing into his chin. He howled in agony, though it was effectively cut off not even a second after he made the sound.

_Shit, I _am_ going to die!_

But nothing happened. Silence reigned for the moment.

He was frozen. Unnaturally still, the male still had me pinned, still had his nose wrinkled, still had his white teeth exposed and poised to rip out my throat. But he didn't move.

Not one to turn down an opportunity, I squirmed, trying to get out of his grip. His weight held me down, though. This only fueled my efforts, kicked me into higher gear, as I kicked into his stomach with a hind paw, started pawing at his front.

The next instant, he was charging at a tree, throwing his weight into its base, ripping it right from its roots. _I_ froze, my legs held awkwardly up in the air, still poised to strike the no-longer-there wolf's underside.

Leah burst from the trees, snarling up a storm. She fell silent when she realized that we were no longer in combat. The silver-grey wolf was breathing raggedly, looking ready to slaughter another tree at any moment. I lurched to my feet, my hackles still bristling a bit, silently daring the other wolf that if he tried anything again, I'd be ready this time. _Of course I will. _

When Leah looked at me, the clouds parted again. Any (definitely suicidal) ideas of initiating round two went out the window as a consequence.

_You are the most stupid, reckless, idiotic –_

_Why'd you come running? _That brought her up short. She was stringing together a witty response when a jet-black blur approached. Leah's heart practically _stopped._

_Sam. _I felt my eyes widen at her recognition. _Sam, Emily, _imprint. _Sam, Emily, Sam, Emily, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam... _

Her thoughts reached an incredible velocity, swirling while her pain ripped though us all. _Us. _I felt the others' thoughts once more, or at least the ones that hadn't been eclipsed by Leah's.

An unwilling growl rumbled from deep within my chest, a result of the intense anger that was boiling in Leah's veins while her feelings warred. Both her and Sam stiffened, both her and Sam turned to face me.

_I_ was now beyond angry at this guy I didn't know at all, _I_ was now torn between ripping into his throat and breaking into tears, _I _was feeling things that I should _not_ be feeling. Not that I was realizing that. No, I was lost in Leah's mind again, lost in what she felt.

The emotions coursing through me may not have been my own, but _I_ was the one who chose to channel them all into one neat category: anger. She may have been able to restrain herself after however much time had passed, but these sensations were new to me... I had no control.

My muscles tensed, I was coiled like a spring, staggering my stance for a moment, pulling back, ready to launch myself forward –

_**Don't. **_My mind blanked at the Command. I was relieved by the blissful nothingness. Unfortunately, my relief was only temporary, as I began, unwillingly, tuning into everyone else's thoughts. It took me a second to realize that Leah had been the one to issue the command.

_You can do that? _I was startled. The other wolves' thoughts answered my question. She was Beta.

Suddenly, Leah snapped her teeth in Sam's direction, lunging toward him. She wasn't attacking, only voicing her irritation that he was _just standing there like the retard that you are, you dumb fuck. You better be damned happy that I'm out of your head! _She barked at him, growling and moving her head this way and that, snapping every so often to try and vocalize her thoughts. He must have gotten the hint, his tail and head hung low.

Wasn't he an Alpha? Alphas should have their head down like that, Alphas shouldn't look or act that way. Then again... how would I know? I'd never been in a pack before, not 'til now. Still, something in me didn't look at him and think _Alpha. _I was probably biased already.

_You're so fucking _stupid! _No brains! No _balls!

Jacob finally leaped out from the trees, landing gracefully –

_Like I said, Quil, she's decided she's too good for us and is moving on up the ladder! _Quil pretended to be heartbroken at Embry's thoughts. They were racing each other, Embry being a bit faster. _And you're too fat to keep up, even Naomi agrees._

_As if her opinion carries any weight! _

_Not like your body does._

_That's it! Wait 'til I catch up to you! _Quil vowed he'd rip Embry's tail off... as soon as he could reach it.

Jacob strode toward Sam. Leah fell back to stand at Jacob's right shoulder, though the profanities in her head continued. The gray wolf I had, briefly, fought moved to be behind Sam, a few paces away. He was glaring at me. I could tell he was tempted to continue where he'd left off. _I_ was tempted to snarl at him, still irritated at the fact I would have lost, but I resisted.

_Quil, Embry, Seth. Do not come within sight, or even earshot. _He decided it'd be unwise to have all the members here. _Naomi, fall back._ Loathe as I was to back off, I obeyed, trotting back further into the forest, moving until I was out of sight.

While I did this, Jacob apologized to Sam.

_What happened was not intentional. _As if the other Alpha would underst –

_It would be best to ensure it does not happen again. _I could almost hear the something along the lines of "Leash your dog," or another unspoken mockery of some kind. I peeked into the others' thoughts a bit more, learning that the two Alphas could communicate to each other telepathically, but they chose what thoughts to project. _She is the werewolf, correct? _

What?

_What? _Leah was as surprised as I was. What did that have to do with anything?

Jacob nodded in reply.

_Half! She's only half! _Leah shouted, causing us to all wince. _Why does her being werewolf matter? There's nothing special about _that! The black wolf looked at Jacob expectantly, but Jacob revealed nothing.

I sat down against a tree, focusing completely on what was going on in everyone's mind, looking through both Leah and Jacob's eyes.

Embry burst out from between two trees, his salmon-pink tongue lolling out of his mouth.

_Why so glum... _He tried to think of something that rhymed with 'glum.'

_Sittin' like a plumb? _Quil offered, just a breath behind Embry. He was a bit out of shape, though, I could tell, breathing a little too hard for a shape-shifter.

_You should exercise more often. _I informed him, giving my best wolf grin as Embry burst into mind-guffaws, while Quil deflated.

_You're a bitch._

_Literally! _Embry tossed in, all but rolling in laughter. My grin vanished.

_Hey, Quil, weren't you supposed to rip Embry's tail off once you caught up to him? _Quil brightened as Embry panicked.

_Don't _encourage _him! _They took off again, with Quil, hot on Embry's heels, snapping at the air, though he still couldn't quite get close enough to take a good bite.

_Cannibalistic shape-shifters. I think I've seen everything._

_No, _I_'ve seen everything. _Seth protested as he approached. He'd been absent for the most part, observing more than projecting any thoughts. The sandy-hued wolf loped over, panting.

_You're slow. _I wouldn't have said that out loud, but it's hard to restrain one's self for manners when all of your thoughts are broadcasted.

_I had the longest way to go!_

_Are you sure you didn't make a pit stop or something? Grab a bite to eat about halfway? _Leah was not pleased with my mockery and I immediately felt guilty. _Nah, you didn't miss much._

_I know._

_Right. Mind-link-thing. _Jeez, he was just a kid. And I'd held him by the throat yesterday.

_I'm over it._ He thought brightly. _We heal fast. And I'm not a kid!_

_I know. _I wondered if Nata had managed to heal from whatever he'd gotten himself into. _Age is relative, _kid.

_Who's... Nah-tah?_

_My brother. His name was Natanael._

_You have a brother? _

_I did. _

_Is he a shape-shifter? _Seth was genuinely curious.

_He was. In part._

_He's half-shape-shifter, like you?_

_Yeah, he _was.

_That's cool. _He thought, nodding his head excitedly, oblivious.

_...Right. _Young and innocent, Leah's brother was.

Our attention was yanked away when Jacob and Leah had begun to leave, the two Alphas going opposite ways.

Jacob had assured that there would be no more fights, not between any members from the two packs, anyway.

He was none too happy with me.

Jacob came barreling around the corner of a tree, his teeth bared, _pissed_. With a yelp of surprise, I reflexively dropped to the ground, belly-up and tail tucked.

Snapping his teeth inches from my face, Jacob stood over me, growling once. _Don't _ever_ pull a stunt like that again! Not in our pack or not, they are also guardians of La Push and are not to be attacked! _I stayed perfectly still with my head twisted away from him, my throat exposed intentionally, while I looked off into the distance, looking anywhere but at him.

He remained there for a moment, half-tempted to actually take a bite, before he decided against it and stalked away. I stayed where I was, on the ground, waiting until he was several paces away before rolling over onto my belly and rising to my feet.

Leah strode by, following Jacob. She purposely bumped into my shoulder, nearly knocking me over as I barely resisted the movement. While I was irritated, that was hard not to feel, I reined myself in, keeping my head low and posture unthreatening. She was Beta, I was subordinate.

I hung back, feeling more than a little ashamed. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. _Leah agreed wholeheartedly. I tried to remember how I had been able to block them out, tried to think about that imaginary filter falling back in place, but it was no use.

_Yeah, how did you do that? _Quil wondered.

_I don't know._

_How can you not know? _I didn't.

Jacob wondered if it was a werewolf thing.

_Nata could block me out very easily, it was actually very hard to project any thoughts to him as well. _I thought in reply, agreeing with the possibility. _I've never done it before._

_I can't blame him for not wanting to listen in. _Leah thought irritably. _You think too much._

_It's not something I can help, as you know. You guys aren't exactly the most silent types, either. _I made sure to mostly try and direct the last part to Quil and Embry, not wanting to offend either of the higher-ups... too much.

_Oh, so it's okay to offend me?_

_I've got to go. _Leah had a job, she was probably late. She took off, ready to phase, slap on some clothes, and get the fuck over there. Her words, not mine. Seth wanted to leave, and with Jacob's O.K., he was soon gone from our minds as well.

_Or me?_

_Of course. _Of course I was willing to offend them.

_Why do you think that's okay? _Embry loped toward me, feigning aggression, pretending to stalk over, as though readying to attack. While I _knew_ his movements were in jest and not serious, an odd irritation spread through me like ice. I curled my lip up in a snarl, looking the spotted wolf right in the eye. In that instant, it wasn't a joke anymore.

_Is this really necessary? _Seth wondered, exasperated. _Why does she fight so much?_

_'Cause she's a bitch. _Quil had started running again, trying to "pace himself" this time around, lamenting the fact he wasn't already here where Embry and I were.

I feinted left, though, thanks to our mind-link, Embry knew that I was actually going to strike at his right shoulder, and his fangs were there to greet me. After jerking back as his teeth slashed over my muzzle, effectively blocking my bite, I lunged for his legs, exposing the top of my shoulders and neck. Fortunately, there was a thick ruff there, so his teeth didn't sink as far into my flesh as they did my fur. Snapping at his legs, I latched onto one of his elbows, shaking my head quickly to inflict more damage. It really sucked, fighting with a mind-link, since you felt the damage you inflicted, too. I soldiered through it as we exchanged blows, moving in circles around the trees, snarling and growling at each other.

_Don't dish what you can't take! _He managed to pull free of my grip, having size and muscle on his side. This thought gave him the idea to use it to his advantage as he rushed me like a football player, knocking me over with ease. I let myself go limp, fighting the instinct to tense up as I got bowled into the ground, ignoring the pain of tree roots scraping into me from what felt like all directions, but it was hard to ignore the horse-sized wolf who had the upper hand.

Fortunately for me, this exposed his throat, so while I was pinned to the ground, I was able to grab ahold of the fleshy part right by where his neck met his jaws. I was _not_ letting go, I was not, I was not, _I was not. _Unable to use his teeth, he jumped back, with me still latched on. If he batted me away in a similar manner that the other wolf had, I could easily take a chunk of him with me in the process. Not that I wanted to, I didn't want to _kill_ him, just as he didn't want to kill me. Suddenly, it didn't feel as serious as it should have, given that I was at his throat. I could feel Jacob's displeasure at that thought.

_I got you, asshole. _I thought to Embry, inwardly grinning.

_That's not very nice. _He relaxed, giving in. It was over. I let go, backing up, most unsteadily.

Quil arrived at that moment, utterly dismayed he hadn't gotten to see any 'fight-action.' As if much happened.

_You had him by the _throat!

_I would not recommend doing that again. _Jacob was a bit irritated, though didn't make any Alpha Commands. _**You've done enough fighting for a week.**_ Aw, maaan.

_Practice makes perfect. If you beat vampires as much as you all claim, _I was immediately assaulted with images of vampires here, vampires there, much to my now-knotted-up stomach's discontent, _wouldn't you want to spar often?_

_As much as I like being your guys' head, _not_, I'd like to... ya know... do some things in human form, yeah? You guys remember what that is, right? _I decided Embry was just ashamed that he'd been bested by a chick. _I'm not 'ashamed' at all. I wouldn't sweat it if it was Leah, 'cause she's scary, but you? You're not scary. Not really. _

_So you're gonna 'sweat it?'_

_No. _He growled. _Not at all. I'm outta here! _The spotted wolf was gone in a flash.

_I need to go see Claire! I haven't seen her – oh, God! I haven't seen her all day! Not since this morning! Noo! _My head was suddenly spinning, just like his. _So many things could have happened! Claire! Claaaaiiire! _

_As if she can hear you, smartass. _Jacob thought with as much venom as he could muster when all of our minds were focused wholeheartedly on the existence of a child. _Damn it, __**phase!**_

Relief.

Then repulsion.

I ducked my head to avoid seeing a naked-Quil sprinting through the forest. _Ugh!_

_I thought you liked him. _Jacob teased.

_Jealous?_

_Not even in your dreams._

_You'd never be in my dreams. _I retorted, taking off at a run in what I _thought_ was the direction of where I had left the clothes Leah had loaned me.

_Other way. _He chuckled inwardly. Gathering my dignity, or at least tugging it along at my heels, I turned around and went that way.

_Don't _you_ have a job? You said that's what normal people do. _

_I'm not normal, though._

_But you still need to blend in...?_

_I fix up cars._

_Like a mechanic?_

_Yeah, like a mechanic. _He rolled his eyes.

_So how does that work out for you?_

_Well enough. Most people here don't have fancy cars... the cars here break down a lot. _Then why was he thinking of Porsches and Aston Martins? _The Cullens have fancy cars. _

_Cullens? _Vampires.

_They're the ones in Forks._

_And... you guys put up with that?_

_We protect La Push. _He said by way of explanation. _Seth imprinted on the half-vampire, you heard that, so we can't harm her. __**You cannot harm her. **_

_I wasn't even –_

_Just for future reference. _I sighed, or as much as a wolf could sigh while running at full speed.

_I bet I'll beat you there._

_Doubtful. I'm closer. _I picked up the pace, extending my stride further, ignoring the slow burn of light protest that my muscles gave me. _Maybe _you_ need to exercise more._

_Doubtful. _I mimicked him. _I'm in good shape._

I did, in fact, beat him. Barely. But I beat him, at least in speed.

Still, we both finished dressing at about the same time, from what I could tell. He raced to the street in an attempt to look like he'd been there long before I had, but I knew better.

I made a face, before the strangest sensation floated through me. I turned around, looking at the horizon, which was mostly obscured by forestry and distant mountains.

"What?" Uncertainty was in his tone, I heard him move toward me, but I didn't reply.

I looked there for a little longer, so _sure_ that I had felt _something. _

"Ow!" I grabbed my wrist as pain spiked there. The second I held it the pain stopped.

"What?" He repeated, louder and more confused. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing." I said, shaking my head, letting my hands drop to my sides as I turned to look back at him. "Nothing at all." He was tempted to press further, I could tell. "Probably just a mosquito." I stole another glance over my shoulder, taken aback by the insane urge within me screaming _go there! Go there! Go there!_ "I think I've gotta go."

"What?"

"It's personal." I forced just enough urgency in the tone. "I'm a chick, remember?" He _sniffed _the air. He sniffed! "Ugh!" Disgust was rife in the sound I made. "Not quite like _that._ I won't attack any other wolves, dude. I've just got to... go."

"Seriously, wh –"

Then, I started to run.

* * *

_author's shameless include:_

You can thank Pandora, the internet radio, for this one. xD Listening to new music does wonders for my muse! It's like... muse-ic. lol. I'mma dork.

by the way, I've got character pictures on my profile. (: don't let them hinder your imaginings! I will say that I'm not entirely satisfied with the pic I chose for Naomi. I just couldn't find the right one. I'm not happy with either human pic, really, I might change them, but that's the gist of what I imagine them to look like, haha. She's not _that_ pale, though, but she's far from tanned.

Things were supposed to pick up in this chapter... ugh. they didn't. Dammit. It might be a bit before I get the next one done, I need to reevaluate some things. D:

And I didn't make many adjustments to earlier chapters. Sigh. I don't have the drive right now. D: So sorry if you read them again, expecting changes, only to find... there weren't any noticeable ones. Which was the point, yeah, but I didn't change as many sentences as I thought I would. If you see any awkward wording or grammatical errors, though, I'd love it if you let me know~

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

pointing out errors/inconsistencies would be super beneficial for me! I'm only human, I might slip up quite a bit. I am trying to be somewhat compliant with the series, but I will take occasional liberties. still, if there is something totally wrong (like if I said that alice had long orange-red hair, haha) don't be afraid to let me know. if you also think someone is totally OOC, I'd love tips on how to make them more in-line with what they probably are. :]

xoxo lovesremnant


	9. chapter eight!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter eight!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Thanks to: Fireflies-Flying, LadyAmazon, JuSJaZ82, XxMichyBabyxX, Jayn, Washingtongirl1026, and xXxBeyondxBirthdayxXx for reviewing chapter seven! Much love for you all!

* * *

And boy, had that been a _stupid_ idea.

Mainly because I tripped. Like an idiot. Like a bumbling idiot, actually.

I could hear the change in Jacob's breathing as he fought laughter for the briefest of moments, before he just let it out, bursting into amused chuckles amidst guffaws.

"_I've got to go-oh!_" He mocked, then I noticed he was now in front of me. "You're weird."

"Thanks."

"No, I mean... You look weird."

"'Cause I'm white?" _I didn't belong here. _I could tell that hadn't been what he'd originally intended to say, probably not even think, not at this moment, anyway. "You're right –"

"About what?"

"– So I wish you'd reconsider –"

"Not a chance."

"Why?"

"Haven't we gone through this?" We were getting nowhere, weren't we? I sighed, looking at him.

"What am I doing here, then?"

"You joined the pack." He said, by way of explanation. "You're one of us."

"But I'm _not._ I know that, you know that, everyone who looks at me will know that. Am I even supposed to be here? This is a Native Reservation, is it not?"

"I can settle any disputes."

"With your impeccable charm?"

"In part."

"Is that right?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" I could almost hear the _Since I said it_ ending. The mind-link only went so far, of course, it wasn't like that... no, the smugness was radiating from his stance and written all over his handsome face.

Wait.

His face was not that handsome. Really, truly.

"'Cause I'm a white girl, Jacob, I do not belong here."

"You're one of us, therefore you are a Protector. Therefore, you belong here." He added.

"A... Protector?" Really? _Protector? Really? _"That's what you call your little gang of buddies?"

"Yeah." I waited for him to explain further, but got nothing.

"So... is that other, ah, pack... they are Protectors as well?" Irritation lowered his brow. What was his deal? "Do you have some kind of beef with them?" His brows raised in surprise.

"No!" He feigned a cough. "I mean, uh, no. No. We work together." He said earnestly.

"Then why do you get all frowny at the mention of them?"

"I don't –"

"But you do."

"It's got nothing to do with them." I frowned. "Drop it."

It wasn't a Command, but I didn't want to test if he'd make it one. The less Commands I was under the influence of, the better.

"Seriously, what happened there?" While I wanted to play dumb, I knew exactly what he was talking about, and he knew it. "You got this funny look on your face."

"It doesn't –"

"Matter?"

"I was going to say it didn't _concern you,_ actually."

"Details, details." He gave a lazy wave of his arm, half-circling me. I pivoted slightly to keep my back from being to him, the predatory move making me nervous. He probably hadn't even realized that he'd done it. "Tell me."

I'd been about to stall further, though this urge was repressed immediately with one Look. "It's my brother... Sometimes... I dunno. I just really want to find him. Or at least his... body." Damn it, I didn't want to be telling some sob story. I straightened my back, forcing my expression into that of a bored, devil-may-care one. "It's not important."

"You just randomly decide you've _got to _run and find him? With no leads or direction?"

"No." He looked at me expectantly. "Not really." With a heavy sigh, "Can't we just drop it?"

"If it distracts you from doing your duty –"

"_My duty?_" Say what?

"– then it is an issue."

"What duty?" I repeated.

"You're a Protector, now." Jacob said, as if that was supposed to carry any weight to me.

"Why would I 'protect' a place I don't hail from, that has _no connection_ to me?"

"Obviously there's a connection if you're here and..." An odd, playful glint came to his dark eyes. "... under my control." I _hated_ the way he said it. And yet, there was this other part of me that – no, actually, I am a united front here. Honest. I hated the way he said it.

"As if." I protested, crossing my arms and taking a step back. He took one step toward me, this time I couldn't tell if he could tell that he had done this. Which made _so_ much sense. "This is serious."

"Is it?" _What game is he playing? I sure as hell ain't playing. _

"Yes."

"And you've got the authority to say so because...?"

"I'm... half-werewolf?"

"And that gives you so much weight because...?"

"You're not?"

"And this is a bad thing because...?"

"Are you –"

He was a blur as he came at me, so I, naturally, took off, racing away. He had longer legs, being a decent bit taller, he caught up with me easily enough. Before I even realized it, he'd backed me up to a tree, his brow quirked up.

"What the –"

"Chill."

"Wh–"

"You're all..." He made some nonsensical gesture with his hands, as if that was supposed to explain. Sensing that I didn't get what he meant by flailing his arms in the air, he heaved a sigh. "You're all paranoid and shit."

"Paranoid and shit?" I parroted, crossing my arms.

"Yeah," he sounded satisfied with his explanation.

"Paranoid and shit?"

"Yeah," he repeated.

"Paranoid and – _eeep!_" He was really, _really_ fucking close. _Too_ close. My lungs felt constricted somehow, the air too thick and heavy. My thoughts came to a screeching halt, I couldn't remember _anything._ Did I have a name?

"Nervous?" His breath was hot on my face; I couldn't move for a moment. Or two. Or three.

He was still, too. This allowed for a moment of clarity, a moment (finally) of some _sense._ I shoved him away, probably taking him off-guard since he did stumble back a few steps when I knew full well that any strength that I may have had would have done nothing of the sort.

"Back off, dickhead."

"Hey, now –"

I wanted to shif-phase right then and there, to get the hell away. Of course, there were two strong reasons _not_ to: one, these were Leah's clothes and ripping them into shreds would not help Leah-relations; two, if he shif-phased after me it'd just mean everything gets broadcasted around. That wouldn't work.

So, I walked away.

He was _laughing. _He was laughing at me. Trying to coax my dignity back to the forefront, though that was a struggle given the fact that my dignity was content to hide in some distance corner in my mind, I kept on walking.

He followed. I could feel his smile as though it were a sound, a feeling, a touch.

"Where are you going?"

"Dunno."

"Where are you going?"

"I dunno."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't _fucking_ know."

"Where are –"

"_Jacob._"

"You've no control over me." His voice was startlingly serious; I shrunk away instinctively. "Seriously, where are you going?" How easily he slipped out of Mister-Alpha and into Immature-Boy. How old was he?

"How old are you?"

"What?"

"How old are you?"

"Uh..." He seemed to be trying to remember. I wondered if it was a common thing among those who stopped aging, for Nata often forgot his age as well. I knew my age, though, I'd never forget it. I hoped I'd never forget it. "22? Technically, anyway."

"You're too young for me," I teased absently.

"What? How old are _you_?"

"Not as old as you're thinking." I wasn't irritated with him, I realized. It was a strange feeling, just as sudden as his strange behavior.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes."

"We're not phased, how would you know?"

"I'm 23."

"So you _are_ old."

"Not by much."

"Hmm?" I realized my mistake.

"Nothing, dude."

"Dude?"

"I'm a chick, thanks."

"... I noticed." Again, I could feel his cocky grin, no, this time I actually could _hear_ it.

I whirled around and punched him square in the chest.

"Hey, girl, punching the alpha probably isn't the best way to get on our good side!" I spun around, crouching, poised to shif-phase only to see Quil all-but skipping toward us. "At the same time... it just might be!"

"Right." I could hear Jacob's frown this time around. "What is it?"

"It's Embry –"

"What happened?" Jacob was standing directly in front of Quil now, tense and looking just as ready to phase as I'd been moments before. I hung back a few paces, unsure of the odd, uneasy feeling that spread through my nerves. "WHAT HAPPENED?" Quil grinned, though Jacob's glare wiped that grin right off his cocky face.

"Ain't nothing like _that_ –"

"_Shit,_ Quil!"

"– he imprinted!"

Silence, from Jacob.

Confusion, from me.

"On who?"

"Imprinted?" I was ignored. _Figures._

"I dunno. All I know is that he imprinted, but here's the kicker –"

"What?"

"– she's a... Oh, man, why do _I _have to do this?"

"**What?**"

"Shit, er, um she's a half-vamp!"

Half...?

"Like –" Jacob broke off, doing a frustrated spin on his heel. "Like..."

"Nessie?" Quil supplied, "Yeah!"

I stayed silent, knowing by now it'd be useless to say anything or, rather, ask anything.

"Do you know who she is?"

"Nah. All I know is that she tried to kill him –"

Both Jacob's and my inner hackles were bristling, that much I can tell from Jacob's stance and the way I almost phased.

"– but he's okay! He's so whipped!"

"Yeah, that's kinda what happens, _you_ should know." Quil giggled.

I kid you not.

"Where is he?"

"Following her heels like a puppy, dodging her attacks! Love at first sight," he burst into guffaws, "oh-oh, man!"

Jacob took off into the forest, Quil at _his_ heels. I contemplated following for a moment, before deciding that this whole "imprinting" thing didn't concern me.

God damn...

I was kinda lonely.

* * *

_Rat - at - tat. _I felt incredibly nervous, knocking on the door. I almost leaned against the wall by it but thought better of it. She probably wouldn't appreciate me getting too comforta–

"What do you want? I can smell you a mile away."

"Likewise." I called back to Leah, through the door.

"I'm not going to repeat myself." Saying that wasn't much different than doing so, but I held my tongue.

"I..." Why _was_ I here? "I'm... uh..."

"Spit it out."

"I'm... bored?" _Wrong thing to say!_

"I'm not here to entertain you, bitch."

"I know! I... just... uh..." Maybe I could be useful instead. "Did'ya hear about Embry?"

"I'm not your gossip buddy."

"I _know_ that. I don't expect that."

There was a long pause. I had decided she wasn't going to respond and was going to find a place in the forest to snooze for the night when the door opened, revealing an irate Leah.

"What?"

"Embry... uh... imprinted...?" _Whatever that means._ Her brow raised.

"One, why the fuck do I care? Two, do you even know what an imprint is?"

"Sorry and no, I don't."

"It's the stupidest, cheapest trick that fate pulls." I didn't say anything, startled. "It's just another way to fuck you over."

"So why did he imprint?"

A mirthless smile spread across her face. She wasn't bad looking at all, happy smile or not. I was instantly envious, though I tamped the green eyed monster down.

"It's not something you choose. God, it's not something you choose." She wasn't talking to me, she might not have been talking to anyone at all. A vacant look dulled her dark brown eyes as she stared off into space for a moment. I shifted my weight from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Lemme guess, you got left in the dust?"

"Pretty much." I felt quite pathetic.

"You're gonna have to learn to get over that."

"To be honest... I think I need to learn a lot of things about this, uh, pack business."

"Yeah, you do." Her words and face were cold, but she didn't look like she was gonna tear my throat out, so I didn't get too worried. "Need a place to crash?" Was she offering? "You can sleep on the porch." She shut the door.

Well then.

It might be a good idea to get used to civilization again, I decided. A porch was a step closer to four walls and a roof from the open forest, was it not?

I let myself lean against the wall by the door, then slid down to sit.

If Leah got ticked about me sleeping on her porch... well... she offered. That ridiculous thought sent me off to dream-land; I hadn't realized how tired I was until...

* * *

_author's shameless include:_

I know, I'm terrible, I get the most reviews for one chapter that I've ever gotten and I don't update for so many days! T_T I'm sorry! I moved 500 miles away, started working a new job, and I've been 100% distracted lately... if any of those (or those together) are a suitable excuse for not updating. I really do apologize! You guys are amazing, I hope I haven't lost you guys D:

Kinda short, kinda filler, but I'm laying out building blocks for later.

My rationale for their almost ooh-la-la moment: she's hot, he's hot, mutual attraction... yes, yes?  
There is nothing deep here, don't get me wrong, not yet, anyway. It's just that not everyone is as chaste as Edward and Bella. Vamps might be cold and frigid, but I like to think the wolves are hot and passionate~

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

pointing out errors/inconsistencies would be super beneficial for me! I'm only human, I might slip up quite a bit. I am trying to be somewhat compliant with the series, but I will take occasional liberties. still, if there is something totally wrong (like if I said that alice had long orange-red hair, haha) don't be afraid to let me know. if you also think someone is totally OOC, I'd love tips on how to make them more in-line with what they probably are. :]

xoxo lovesremnant


	10. chapter nine!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter nine!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Thanks to: xXxBeyondxBirthdayxXx, XxMichyBabyxX, winchesterxgirl, LadyAmazon, and Jayn for reviewing chapter eight! You guys are too good for me.

* * *

I was woken up by someone shaking my shoulders.

"Hey, hey! Wake u–" I snarled, effectively cutting whoever it was who was talking, pinning them the ground in the grass beside the porch, not even fully awake. "I'm not doing anything!" Their voice was awfully high-pitched.

"Seth–what–NAOMI!" Oh, shit. As if he were made of fire (to humans it probably felt like it), I was gone in a flash, jerking away and blurring away just as Leah came tearing out the door, nearly ripping the fragile door off of its hinges in the process.

I put my hands up in a peaceful gesture, ducking my head and avoiding eye contact. "I didn't mean to!"

"What the fuck is up with you trying to kill my brother?"

"I'm not trying to –"

"Mess with my brother and I will –"

"– kill your brother!"

"– kill you!" I was about to respond when a strange scent was carried to us by a rogue breeze. It was sugary sweet, a little _too_ sweet.

"What is that?"

"How am I supposed to – _oh."_

"What?" Our little spat already forgotten, I fell into step behind Leah as she stalked down her driveway.

"You guys are the shape-shifters, right?" An eerily smooth voice asked, no, _whispered_, but our advanced hearing would catch it easily enough. I saw a pale figure across the street, with long, luxuriously thick hair that was the color of... cotton candy? She had hot pink hair!

Leah growled, the inhuman sound contrasting against her very human body. I tensed, moving to stand an arm's width away from her shoulder. I heard Seth scramble to his feet and move to Leah's other side. It was all so instinctive, the way we'd make a formation of sorts.

"I'm Embry's imprint," she said, cautiously, as though giving an excuse to a police officer for getting a speeding ticket. "It would kill him to kill me, would it not?"

"That wouldn't stop _me_. Two birds with one stone, no?" Leah snapped, advancing toward the strange, pale creature. With each step we took, my stomach churned more. It was jarring, the contradictions in this woman's face. She had a human posture, somewhat slouched, but at the same time her movements were so very vampiric: effortless, airy, and _wrong._ I didn't realize that I was practically vibrating until Leah nudged me, but my noticing only fueled it more.

"Keep your dog on a leash." I could hear the catch in her breath as the half-vamp immediately regretted it, see the very human anxiety that sprang to her eyes and later her expression as I ripped out of my own skin.

Voices that didn't belong to me floated into my mind. No, they tore into my mind. I froze, mid-step, mid-charge, trying to regain my bearings as I was assaulted with _agony,_ with _longing._ Yearning for _her._

_Naomi? The fuck are you doing here? _Jacob asked me, irritated since he was trying to get Embry to chill out. Another mind in the link was the last thing he needed right now. Then, surprise. _**Do not attack Embry's imprint.**_ Unfortunately, any semblance of control Jacob had over Embry was effectively cut at that moment, the idea of _me_ hurting _her _sending him over the edge into some strange primal mindset that I couldn't understand. At the same time, though, I _could._

_Shit! __**Embry! Do not **__– ah, shit! _Jacob had stumbled in his haste to rush toward Embry. How graceful. Ignoring my comment, _**Do not attack Naomi!**_

_Thanks._

_**Shut up.**_ Gratitude was overrated, apparently.

_I need to see her! I need to see her! I need to see her! I need to see her! Must see her! _Athena! _So beautiful, wonderful, lovely, gorgeous! I must see her! I need to protect her! _It just didn't _stop._

_**Stay where you are, Embry.**_ That damned near made his heart go out.

_Jacob! _I protested, sinking to the ground at his agony, completely blind to what was going on in the physical world.

_Fine. Go... ugh. Go see your damned imprint! _

_Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you God thank you Jesus thank you Jacob thank you Naomi thank you Robin Williams thank you thank you thank you! I'm gonna see her! I'm gonna see her! Athena! _His heart was freaking _singing._ _I will save you!_

_I think I'm going to puke. _I realized it might be a good idea to pay attention to my surroundings again.

I was... alone?

_She ran! What a wimp! _Leah had phased, was tearing off after the fleeing half-vamp. We were in the forest in a flash. One of the nicer things about this Reservation, how close it was to the wilderness.

_What?_

_WHAT? _Embry was more emphatic in his question than we were. _Athena is not a _wimp! _She is beautiful, with long, silken tresses the color of –_

_Cotton candy? _Leah stole my reference before I could really, truly think it.

_Tampon wrappers? _I couldn't think of anything clever. I'd never had to use the things, but I'd seen them.

_Vaginas? _

_What the _fuck,_ Jacob? _Both Leah and I thought this.

_It's true? They ARE pink, after all._

_Shut the fuck up, you guys! _Embry was _pissed_ at the sexual reference. While he most certainly thought his imprint was _made of hot, hot sex_, he did not approve of _us_ thinking of her in that manner.

_Don't worry about that from me! _I teased, taking off after where Leah had gone.

_**Both of you, stop pursuing his imprint.**_

_You say it like we are trying to love her or something. _Leah was offended.

_You better not be! _Embry was steaming, racing after where Leah had seen her run off toward. _Athena! Athena!_

_As if she can hear you, dumbass._

_What if she can? I should test it –_

_NOOOOOOO! _All of us were firmly against him testing it!

_ATHENA! ATHENA! ATHENA! ATHENA! _Oh my _god._ This was torture. _ATHENA! ATHENA! ATHENA!_

_**Embry. Cut it out.**_

_But she's my –_

– _That's annoying. Stop it._

_But she's my –_

_NO ONE CARES!_

_I care! _He thought petulantly, howling out his misery. Despite my animosity for the halfling, his agony was my agony, our agony, the pack's agony.

_What'd I miss – ah, what the! _Seth popped in our minds, having decided to run to the forest _then_ phase. He didn't want to risk being spotted by a human.

_We're human. _Leah snapped, irritated at my distinction.

_Are we?_

_Well, _you_ aren't, but _we_ are. _Shit, that _hurt._ This mind-link thing was getting old quickly, as she laughed bitterly at my pain. _Suck it up, Bitch._

_Because you do that so well? That _ticked her off. _It's always there in the background, you agonizing over _Sam_ and _Emily. I made sure to project those names to the best of my ability, and got instant satisfaction at the flash of pain that ripped through her deeper than any blade ever would.

That satisfaction was short-lived, for soon there was a flash of _Leah_, right before I was knocked down onto my side. _Fuck! _She was blind with rage.

_How _dare_ you? How dare you! As if you know _anything_ you two-faced good-for-nothing _bitch! _I'll kill you, dammit! I'll _kill_ you! _I didn't doubt it.

I wasn't going to lose this one, I told myself, squirming out from underneath her. She'd been so sure she had pinned me down that she focused more on her bites than her legs. Springing away on adrenaline-pumped legs, I spun around, crouching low to the ground. _Instinct_ sang through my veins. I relished the power of my muscles, how quickly and easily they responded to me.

The two of us were blind to everything but Leah's anger and my focus, her rage and my concentration.

I didn't want to fight. I wasn't supposed to. Jacob had issued that Alpha command, I was painfully aware of that as my stomach did a few somersaults in my gut. But Instinct would have none of that. _She dared to insult you, _I wondered when I had become schizophrenic as I launched myself several wolf-lengths to the right in order to avoid Leah's teeth, playing defense for now. Instinct was looking for a promotion through violent means, but... I wasn't.

Even as that _Instinct_ screeched in horror at the notion of my apparent weakness, I willed my bitchiness away and rolled over to expose my belly. Leah was Beta, I was... Well, I could figure that out later. _I apologize._

_You _apologize? Leah was all teeth and anger and rage, but her surprise at my submission was palpable. The Pack's connection snapped back into place with Instinct's dismissal, which disoriented me.

_LEAH! _Jacob had wanted to issue a command, hated himself for it. Guilt swirled inside of him at how heavy-handed he had been, though part of me, a part intertwined with what I called _Instinct_, wondered why that was. Alphas were leaders, were bosses, so... they led, they bossed. _At what cost? _

_What the fuck is up with that, if you don't mind me asking? That whole "instinct" thing. _Apparently my mind's little detour had been enough to draw Embry's Athena-focused attention – oops, scratch that. _Athenaaaa!_

_I should kill you. You're fucking stupid and clueless and have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. _Leah's anger was waning, her fight now won. _It was won from the very beginning, you never stood a chance._

_I stand corrected. Er, lay corrected. _Instinct was still convinced I could have won. I wasn't sold. I'd be getting my head ripped off soon if I kept sparking shit.

_Exactly. _Jacob agreed, his irritation cutting. _Embry, dammit, go see your imprint. And be sure to tell her to be more careful. _As if he'd have to remind Embry of that. I still felt something akin to awe for the depth of the bond he'd made between them –

_There's no "making." It's not intentional. _Leah reminded me, irritated with my _lack of knowledge. More things you know nothing about._

_Then teach me._

_Pfft, no. I don't need to spend more time on you. And I, _Leah announced, _need some coffee. _She raced to her house. I remained where I was, before rolling over and rising to my feet. _Seth, you coming? _In that instant, envy swept through me, bitter and wistful. In that same instant, Instinct curled around me, forming that shield again. My mind was my own.

_Nata. _Inside, I was screaming, no different than Embry had been with worry for his imprint. Supernatural bond or not, his imprint was not his _brother, _his _blood. _Nata was my brother, _my_ blood. And it had been doubtlessly been spilled. As I watched, in that disturbing silence of having your mind to yourself, Seth sprinting after Leah, his sandy form almost illuminated in the misty morning light, I wished, more than anything, that that fur was dark as night and that he was about three or four times larger. I wished that silvery wolf ahead of him, who took the comfort of a sibling for granted as far as I was concerned, was me, white as snow and on the way to another city, another temporary home, not to get some caffeine.

Pivoting on my hind feet as I jerked to the other direction, the way I had wanted to go yesterday, I began to run.

_Nata._

I had to find him.

* * *

Of course, I hadn't taken food into consideration.

I was in Forks. It wasn't too far off, hadn't taken that long.

Small towns. The thing I had always avoided in the past. Newcomers stood out so much more when everyone knew everyone, caused so much more suspicion than in a city where nearly everyone was anonymous, where growth was rapid enough where new faces were common.

It was a good thing some people still hung their clothes on clotheslines... and that those people lived on the outskirts. The clothes didn't fit right, but I could never argue against jeans and a T-shirt. The jeans were horribly tight and the shirt was too loose (I think it was a men's shirt), but they would work. I made a mental note to keep my arm firmly in place over the left side, to hide a small, lavender-colored stain, lest anyone recognize it.

It was summer, though. I could just be a tourist if I wasn't here long.

I walked into the first café I could find, hoping they might have sandwiches or something equally light available. I was in luck.

"Hi. May I have a..." I glanced up to their menu, a dry-erase board mounted on the wall, once again to double-check, "... ham sandwich? Do you guys have bottled water?"

The woman nodded with a too-cheery smile. "Yup. Water's free, the sandwich will be $5.00. Will you be eating here or do you want it wrapped to-go?"

"To-go, please." I answered, aware of someone's suspicious gaze. Pretending not to notice, I tipped the worker well and strode outside.

I paused, taking a moment to study a poster about all the things Forks had to offer for lodging, until the people who I could hear walking toward the door opened it and came in. Instantly, I was assaulted with the _smell. Vampire. _Fear paralyzed me, stunned me as I looked at the two women with astonishment.

Inhumanly perfect in appearance, revoltingly stinky, I wanted nothing more than to flee or rip their throats out. Both desires were equal in strength. Instinct said I could do both.

"Another one?" The dark-haired one breathed in surprise, her amber eyes narrowing. The other, a blonde shrugged and walked to one of the tables.

"Mr. Swan,"

"Rosalie."

"Bella?"

Nodding, without looking away from me, the dark-haired one smoothly walked to the table. I noticed it was the same man who had been looking at me with suspicion earlier.

I'd been planning on using them for cover, to hide my side with the stain. It was easy to hide, but the reassurance would have been ideal.

Shrugging it off inwardly, I left. The vamps hadn't attacked... a treaty did exist after all. It wouldn't matter soon.

It was time to eat, time to run.

* * *

_author's shameless include:_  
Hey lovelies, sorry for disappearing for a bit. Life hit a snag but that's just how it goes, right? (: I got a burst of inspiration, here we go...

One more chapter right after this :D I had a bit to write, hehe.

By the way, Leah would not have seriously killed Embry's imprint, I don't think. But is she going to really show that? No. 'Cause she's a hard ass :P But when a half-vamp shows up on the rez I think there would be some animosity, yeah.

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

pointing out errors/inconsistencies would be super beneficial for me! I'm only human, I might slip up quite a bit. I am trying to be somewhat compliant with the series, but I will take occasional liberties. still, if there is something totally wrong (like if I said that alice had long orange-red hair, haha) don't be afraid to let me know. if you also think someone is totally OOC, I'd love tips on how to make them more in-line with what they probably are. :]  
xoxo lovesremnant


	11. chapter ten!

**TRAUM.**

_**chapter ten!**_

_**

* * *

**_

In before reviewers, teehee.

* * *

After returning the clothes to where I'd found them, taking care to make it look like they'd simply been blown out of their pins on the line, I met the prospect of shifting with great hesitation.

What if I couldn't block the others out? I found myself _wanting_ to somehow get in touch with Instinct. Reassurance calmed me. A promise from within.

I closed my eyes and focused on that constant undercurrent of anger, of instability. Of course it was easy to find, what with my sudden longing for Natanael again.

On four feet I ran, running solo both physically and mentally. My wrists had hurt yesterday evening, I'd had a desire to go this way. Surely it was a sign? I hoped it was.

I was speed, I was faster than the winds that blew, faster than anything I'd ever seen in my life. Except, maybe, for leeches, who I considered equal to myself in speed, but not for anything else. Except for creepiness, of course. I'm not as creepy as a vampire, nor am I as heartless, soulless, or bloodless. But that goes without saying.

Finally, after ages of running, I came to a stop in God-knows-where, breathing hard with exertion. The afternoon sun shown through the trees, the damp earth soft beneath my paws. I sat, unsure of my spur-of-the-moment mission. A foreign anxiety danced in my stomach.

I realized something.

I had an _anchor._

Something was tying me to where I had left. _Dammit! _I wanted to go... _home._ That place was now home to me? Home was wherever I ended up sleeping, be it in the shadow of a tree or in that of an alleyway. Never, ever a set place. Not since Father and Mother were killed. Not since those leeches took them from my brother and me, not since I'd been shielded.

I growled my annoyance, as if the strange urge to turn around and return h-back to where I'd come from was something I could scare off by fluffing up my fur and exposing my teeth. Everything felt _wrong._ Looked wrong, _smelled_ wrong.

A shudder ran through me, nausea making my stomach lurch to my throat. I denied the remains of the sandwich exit, since I'd rather not puke up five bucks. Five bucks I'd lifted off of someone walking down the street. I did what I had to do. I always did.

A crow flew above, haste evident in its jerky, swift flight. Nata had always swore by crows, said they knew more than us. I'd always teased him for it, but now I wasn't so sure that we were the more evolved beast. _You're being paranoid!_

Was I?

_No! _I wasn't! I spun around and took off as a scent, repugnant and sickly sweet, wafted toward me, mixed with something metallic and... something very, very familiar.

I stopped, against my better judgment. _Nata! _

The smell came from the earth, the dirt. A thousand messages of LEAVE raced through my nerves, but ten thousand messages of FIND HIM responded in my veins. I had to see... I had to...

Silent, taking care not to disturb any fallen leaves or step on delicate sticks that could crack, I padded _toward_ the smell that Instinct warned me against. And yet... Instinct seemed to be encouraging me, too. _Conflicting messages, much?_

_Everything_ was conflicting. The smell of vampires, repulsive, intermingled with the smell of my brother, which was irresistable. _Are you alive? _I wondered. _Where have you been? Why did you leave? _I was sure now that he hadn't done it willingly. But if vampires were involved... they'd kill him, for sure. They must be pursuing him now. Perhaps he had left, but was only now being caught.

I had to save him. Had to.

I began to run, following Nata's scent. I ran for several minutes, sacrificing stealth for speed.

Voices. I stopped, holding my breath.

"You've been careless, Ivan."

"Have I? Two birds with one stone, right? I've been doin' this longer'n _you_, Vasilisa."

"So you say."

"Leetle wolf!" The man called, the sing-song tune to it freezing my insides.

"Did you plan this?" A pause, then: "See? This was pure luck. I still say we should have killed him first thing. One less to worry about. We'd get more credit if we killed 'em first thing, Ivan."

"But now we get _two_!"

Two?

_Shit! _They knew I was there!

I spun around, nearly tripping over myself in my haste. Instinct supported this decision wholeheartedly, though was not so pleased by my near-clumsiness.

"Aren't you going to follow it?"

"Not yet."

_Not yet._

_Not yet?_

_What do you mean, not yet?_

_Not yet for what? _

Instinct had taken the shield down, apparently.

_What the fuck, Naomi? __**Stop doing that thing with the blocks.**__ Where are you? _They weren't far away. My heart sank.

_GO BACK! _I screamed inwardly, much to their annoyance. They had to go back!

_Why? So you can run further away? _Jacob was none-too-pleased with my field trip.

I replayed what I'd heard, what I'd just left behind. _Vampires. Two. _I wasn't going to lead the leeches to them, so I veered right, planning on zig-zagging my way until I was on the other end of the fucking _country._

_**Come here.**_ No! Nononono!

_Noooo! _I wailed, but I was powerless to disobey. Instinct wasn't pulling any favors right now, much to my dismay.

_I don't mind the idea of her going to the other side of the country. _Leah had been... worried? Why? _I wasn't worried, bitch. _I wasn't convinced.

_But we can't have them follow me!_

_If they do, we fight them. _I thought of my brother. He'd been strong... they must have overpowered him somehow. _How do you know that? You didn't see him, you only smelled him. They might just be following him._

_Of course you would just jump to conclusions, though, right? _Leah's constant snarking was so very tiring. It was a mask, though, I was sure of it.

_We're a _pack._ We outnumber them. They don't know how many of us there are. _Seth was optimistic.

_But we don't know how much of _them_ there are. _I point this out as I nearly trip over a fallen tree.

_Well, I think we could take them._

_Maybe they won't follow. _Seth was still optimistic. _You don't hear them, do you? _I didn't. They weren't following me.

_But what of my scent?_

_Rain clouds, _Leah answered. _Apparently you were lucky enough to pick a rainy day to trek into Canada. _Canada?

_Where are you guys, anyway? _I asked, even though my feet knew where they needed to go already. Some semblance of normalcy felt nice, so ask them I did.

_Not as far in as you are, that much I can tell. _Jacob replied, still running to meet me. Leah and Seth had stopped, with Seth being much closer to La Push than she was, thanks to her speed. They weren't sure if they should pursue him or not. _No. Sit tight. I don't think they will follow her._

_Yet. _I think this with the utmost dread.

_It's not your fault. _Both Jacob and Seth think this, while Leah thinks that it is. Boys against girls. Girls always win.

_Damned straight. _

_Yeah, right. _Seth rolls his eyes.

_It's going to be a while. _Jacob is thinking mostly to Leah and Seth. _You guys can head back. I'll ensure she doesn't disappear on us again. _The two Clearwaters whirl around to head home, while I maintain a steady but swift speed through what I've been told is the Canadian wilderness.

_You sound suspicious. Do you think we've lied? _Jacob feigned hurt. Leah didn't appreciate the lack of trust in her honesty.

_I don't know where I am, _I inadvertently spooked a moose as I went tearing by it, barely noticing its existence until it was too late. At least I didn't run it over. _Usually I only believe what I know, not what others tell me._

_Is that right?_

_I'm back. _Seth was in La Push now, unsure of if he should phase or not.

_Go ahead, _Jacob said. In the next instant there was only three of us.

_I don't get you. You want to kill my brother and you feel sad that he's gone? Or are you just lamenting a lost opportunity...?_

_Oh, yes, I have this grand scheme of how to murder a perfectly innocent –_

_Innocent? Ha!_

– _kid who I don't even know. Yes, that makes all the sense in the world._

_You don't exactly make all the sense in the world, Naomi._

_Neither do you, Leah._

_Do I sense female bonding? _Jacob mused, enjoying the run as if this hadn't been fueled by vampires. _Are you implying that I'm not taking this threat seriously?_

_No. Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know._

_And the best sense-making answer for a yes/no question award goes to..._

_Sh, Leah. Vampires exist. But this is out of our jurisdiction, so to speak. We don't have the resources to actively hunt leeches. If they make the mistake of following your trail, _one doubtlessly easy to follow, an unnecessary lead, _you're part of the pack now. We're not going to kick you out for this. We can handle two vampires._

_And if there are more?_

_We've done favors for the Cullens. They have connections._

I didn't like the idea of them asking a _favor_ of a coven of bloodsucking immortals, but there was no use in arguing about it, was there? I thought of my brother. Was he fleeing them? Had my interruption distracted them for a moment long enough for him to shake them off of his trail? Was I being too optimistic? What if something else had happened?

_What-if games go nowhere. _

_Leah would know, _Jacob agreed unthinkingly, before regretting it for the flash of pain-sadness-anger-rage that whipped through us all so fast we were disoriented for a good second or two. I tripped.

_Clumsy, _she mocked, grasping easily to the distraction from darker thoughts. I made the mistake of feeling guilty for sparking her anger previously, for intentionally dredging up those thoughts. Then _she_ was the one dredging up those memories, using the bond to inflict her pain on us. For whatever reason, I always gravitated towards her anger for Sam Uley.

_**Leah.**_Jacob warned, _cut it out._

She did. Grudgingly, but she did.

_How many years has it been?_

_A few. _Bitterness was evident in her thoughts. She'd tried to get over it all, tried _so damned hard. _She didn't love Sam anymore, didn't envy Emily as much as she used to. But he was _still a dickhead, still is an ass _and _doesn't deserve a happy ending. _There was more to it. There always was. I tried to clear my head, tried not to get too wrapped up in it.

Finally, she was close enough to where walking on two legs wouldn't be too much of a problem, finding one of the outermost stashes of spare clothes for easy phasing. _See ya. _She was gone.

Jacob and I just focused on not thinking about too many things, which immediately made us think of just about everything.

He wasn't far off from me, it wouldn't be too long. _Why'd you have to meet me, anyway?_

_To make sure you weren't followed._

_You can read my mind. Listen. _I listened, to the thudding of my paws on the soft earth, to the buzzing of a bumblebee as I went flying by. I heard a river some miles back, rushing endlessly through the forest. I was aware, just from the sounds, of all the living things in the vicinity. Well, moving things. Statuesque leeches were not among them. _See?_

_Better safe than sorry. They could have waited._

_They still might._

_Yes._

_We're not out of the woods. ... Figuratively _and_ literally, of course._

_Of course._

We settled into an easy rhythm for the next leg of the run, focusing on ourselves.

_I am sorry about your brother, _he thought to me as I skidded to a halt when we finally met. His dark eyes were sincere, his thoughts more so. I flicked my tail at him.

_You've nothing to be sorry for._

_You want to go back and find him._

_Yes and no._

_Hmm?_

_Yes, I want to see if my brother is there. How can I not? But... it would be stupid. One dead Rousseau is better than two? _My morbid humor bothered him. I sighed, flattening my ears against my skull as I silently apologized to the hopefully-not-dead-Nata. _Bad taste. Sorry. I will be of no use to my brother if I'm dead, you know?_

_Yeah. But you were so close? _I narrowed my eyes, my hackles bristled.

_Do you _want_ me to go back, then?_

_No. No! You are right about you not being any good while dead. _I_ am right in not letting you go back. But... If Rachel or Rebecca disappeared..._

_Your sisters, right?_

_Yeah._

_Well. Whatever. Nata is not helpless. He's bigger than you._

_You're kidding._

_I'm not._

_Shit._

_I know. Are we going h-back to La Push or not?_

_You were gonna say "home." _He was smug about that. Why? I was not sure.

_So?_

_So? You _are_ meant to be in the pack after all._

_Me getting too comfortable has nothing to do with me being meant to be somewhere or what fate has planned, Alpha._

_I wouldn't be too sure. _He panted, a wolfie-smile, letting his tongue loll out of the side of his mouth. Classy. _I try. Anyway, yeah, we'd better get going. Race ya?_

My instincts weren't in favor of the notion. A competition with a higher-ranking would was not good, it meant –

_Gawd! Chill with the whole "higher-ranking" wolf thing. It's just for fun. _He bumped his shoulder against mine playfully before taking off running. I hesitated, before rising to the challenge.

_Hey! _I launched myself forward, stretching my legs out as far as they would go, before deciding to focus on getting as many strides as I could instead of getting the longer one. I had no idea which method was more beneficial, but whatever.

_Overthinking it?_

_You wish. _I had less weight to haul, less muscle to get in my way. I was an Italian sportscar and he was just a dump truck. I could do this.

_Oh-ho! Dump truck? Now that's just cruel._

_Fine. You can be an SUV._

_A _luxury_ SUV._

_Fiiiine. You can be an Escalade._

_I would be._

I _woofed_ a wolfy laugh.

_So I'm a Caddy, what are you? Specifically?_

_Testing my knowledge? I'm a Lamborghini Murcielago, baby._

_Baby? Aw, gettin' the hots for me already..._

_In your dreams._

_Don't worry. I won't tell Leah. Wouldn't wanna make her more jealous._

_Oh? Well. I won't tell... _I didn't know that many people. _I won't tell Embry._

_Deal. Our little secret._

_Pshaw._

_Pshaw? Is that even a word?_

_It's a sound. _

_Is it now?_

_An expression. A scoff. Of utmost disdain._

_Fancy._

_Someone's gotta be._

_Pure?_

_What?_

_Random thought. Our colors are supposed to be representations of our... inner wolf._

_Is that right?_

_Absolutely. _

_And... your inner self is... reddish?_

_The color of russets, so I've been told._

_Har har._

_But you're white._

_What can I say? European blood. _

_No, your fur._

_I'd imagine my skin is white, too._

_Well, I'm talking about your fur. _I realized I'd caught up to him already and hadn't bothered to notice. I never passed him, running on his left side, not to his shoulder. More alongside on of his hind legs. _You must be pure of heart. _He couldn't think the thought without wanting to laugh.

_Oh, please. Pure I am not. _A pause and a rather dirty thought from him. _ugh! No. I'm not a whore. What is _with_ that?_

_Hm? _He played innocent. I snapped at his tail playfully.

He was hungry. Honestly, I was, too. Running long distances required a lot of energy. Energy we had, but it had to be replenished sooner or later. I don't think I was running as fast as I often did.

_Time to hunt? _He thought of Leah's revulsion to eating animals raw. _Sorry, not that dainty... _He barked out a laugh at the thought of Leah being dainty. I imagined her drinking from a tea cup, which only fueled his laughter.

_Guess so._

_Dibs on the bull moose, 10 o'clock._

_Pfft. You can't dibs food. It's a free-for-all in the wild. Survival of the fittest, _baby. _I betcha I can get him first._

_Oh, do you now?_

_Why yes, I know so._

_Pfft. _I mimicked him, blowing past him as I followed the scent of the great deer, easily catching up to the bull. I wasn't as strong as my packm-the other members of the pack, but compared to this guy... _I think I can take him._

Unfortunately for my pride, Jacob had some kind of twisted sense of honor and rained on my parade. In one easy movement, he ripped the creature's throat out, having to practically disassociate from himself to not think about the ickiness factor. This bothered me.

I had to do no such thing. It was perfectly natural. My mother had hunted often, it was a regular family outing. My father always sat on the sidelines, stuck to his human form as his wolf lay dormant without the moon's call, but he'd taught us many things.

We shared the kill, another thing that struck me as odd. Instinct said lessers always ate last...

* * *

_author's shameless include:_  
Two chaps for you guys as an apology for poofing!

**no reviews = no more chapters!**

so r&r, if you'd please (: what can I say? I'm a review whore.

pointing out errors/inconsistencies would be super beneficial for me! I'm only human, I might slip up quite a bit. I am trying to be somewhat compliant with the series, but I will take occasional liberties. still, if there is something totally wrong (like if I said that alice had long orange-red hair, haha) don't be afraid to let me know. if you also think someone is totally OOC, I'd love tips on how to make them more in-line with what they probably are. :]  
xoxo lovesremnant


	12. chapter eleven!

**TRAUM.**

_chapter eleven!

* * *

_

Thank you LadyAmazon, XxMichyBabyxX, Jayn, ReaderWorm101, and Smileysam for reviewing the last chapter. I apologize for the fact that I could not get you this sooner.

* * *

_We can rest here for the night._

_Rest? _I would have expected him to be eager to get home. His home, not mine.

_You're part of the pack... _He didn't finish that trail of thought, but he gave me a beseeching look nonetheless. _And why not? I'm tired._

_Lazy, _I teased, feeling bold as I looked at him from over my shoulder. _I could still run. _The darkening sky felt more like a dawn than a real dawn did, for me.

_A real werewolf... _He mused, flopping down on his belly with all the grace of a tank. _I resent that! What's with you and vehicles? _

_They take me places. _Although I really, really would prefer to keep going, I force myself to sit down after turning to face him again. _And some of them are pretty._

_You're such a girl. _

_I... don't resent that, actually. _I aim for some kind of wolf-grin by opening my mouth and letting my tongue loll out a bit.

_You look silly. _I snap my mouth shut, letting the click of my teeth be my oh-so-eloquent response. He's apologetic as he stands up again, seeming to have forgotten his supposed tiredness._ I like silly._

_Do you now? _I regard him coolly as he takes a step toward me, then another, and another.

_I always have had a tendency toward silliness._

_Have you now? _As if I'm some puppy dog, I can feel my tail swaying behind me, broadcasting my amusement (even if the whole shared-mind thing already took care of the projecting part).

_I bet I could look sillier than you any day of the week._

_Could you now?_

When he bows down, points his ears out sideways, curls his lip and sticks out his tongue and crosses his eyes and – I can't even take in all of the details because I burst into shocked laughter. Wolves were supposed to be graceful and regal and grandiose! He looked like some kind of mutated coyote-moose-bear-thing!

Dropping the goofy face with ease, Jacob stands straight again, watching me with laughing eyes. _Mutated coyote-moose-bear-thing? Was that supposed to make any sense at all?_

_Was your face supposed to make any sense at all? _He gives a halfhearted growl of disapproval, a low, rumbling sound, at my weak comeback.

Belatedly, I notice how close he is. It makes me uneasy: I would not be able to defend myself effectively at such close range; it'd take too many precious seconds to even try and gain any distance on him to–

_Oh my GOD, Naomi! _The sheer vehemence in his tone and the whole "OMG" part makes me wonder if _he_'s the girl. _What? You think I'm just going to randomly bite your nose off? Really? _The growl that accompanies these thoughts is so much fuller and deeper than the playful one he gave only moments ago that my hackles bristle. _Tell me, when have I ever made like I was going to hurt you? You're part of the _pack. _You and your whole "instinct" and weird... _he tries to find a suitable word, _weird thoughts... You should get that. _

_I haven't survived this long blindly trusting everyone I meet! _I retort, backing up a step. He doesn't give any space, though, for he only advances another in swift reply. _And I'm not... I'm not trying to undermine any... I'm not trying to insult–_

_Well, thinking that I'm going to _attack_ you, of all things, _is_ insulting, Naomi. _This complete 180 on tone that the last two-point-eight seconds is leaving me breathless. _I'm sorry. _How quickly, and genuinely, he can say that surprises me more. He whirls around and starts stalking off, leaving me blinking stupidly for a second.

_Wait! _I sprint forward, catching up with a few fluid strides. _I'm sorry. Really. _I nudge his shoulder with my forehead, as Nata sometimes did when I got short with him. It feels awkward after, though, as if the gesture was too friendly. Trying to shrug it off, I leap forward to cover two strides and block Jacob's path. _I don't... it's not that I _really_ think you're going to... but... I'm paranoid, okay? I can't help it, dammit! _

_Well _try._ I'm not your enemy._

_No, _I agree. The emphatic response with zero hesitation seems to give Jacob pause. _And I'm not your enemy, either. Nata wouldn't be, either. _The thought comes out of nowhere, but it makes my heart sink.

_We'll help you. We can–_

_No. _I cut him off. _No. Don't go making any promises. I don't expect anything of you, I don't. But... But I need to... I need to _try_. He's my _brother._ Please. _I think of turning-tail, of trying to find those vampires and going in, guns blazing, to rescue–

_No fucking way. _He shakes his head, but keeps his eyes locked on mine. _Not alone. We'll help get your brother._

_I don't even know that he's alive._

_Then we find out. But not now, not tonight. Not with just us two. I can even go to Sam. _I'm struck by the fact that he's completely serious.

_Jacob... _I shake my head helplessly. _This doesn't involve you._

_It involves you, _he counters, _you're a part of my pack, so yes, it does involve me. And Leah. And Embry, and Quil, and Seth._

_It is too selfish of me to–_

–_to not give us a chance to help. _His gaze is suddenly too intense and I _have_ to look away. Blinking, I realize he feels guilty for using too much of the control that came with being alpha.

Even if it's not even totally related: _there is nothing shameful. _Only in the fact that I resisted for so long.

_You have free will, Naomi. We all do. And I want to help you, and I know the others will, too. _I don't believe that, not fully, but I don't want to argue anymore.

A twig snaps.

Both of us jump to our guard, instantly tensing and bracing for anything. He spins around, turning his back to me. I pivot slightly so that my back is to him as well. _What was that?_

_We might be overreacting, _he points out, but I'm not convinced. I sniff the air and catch the faintest (but still sickeningly obvious) scent of a vampire.

_I told you! I told you they would follow–_

_Not now! _He is straining to pick up any sounds that might betray where the scent is coming from.

Without warning, a blur comes ripping out of the shadows and everything goes black.


End file.
